I like a good bonkbuster as much as the next woman so I was looking forward to reading Tan Lines, a book marketed as " a sense of glamour reminiscent of Jackie Collins..." Jo Rees said in a recent Trashionista guest blog that a modern bonkbuster has to have a "big juicy plot", "a cast of interesting characters" with heroines that are "ballsy and multi talented...who start off fulfilled and in charge of their lives." Unfortunately Tan Lines has none of these.
Tan Lines is about three women. Billie Shelton is a rock star into drugs and men. Her career takes third place. After her last album was shelved by the record company she faces a dilemma, go more pop or lose the backing of the investors. Kellyanne Downey is a wannabe actress who works in a club. She is also a mistress of a very rich man, abides his every sexual whim in return for a car, an apartment and a share in a summer rental in the Hamptons. Liza Pike is a feminist. She appears on talk shows battling against conservative republicans. She is independent, rich and intelligent.
I found this book quite upsetting, so much so that I don't know where to start, and it'll be difficult to explain why without giving away the ending.
The women in this book, particularly Billie, but including all the extra characters, the girls on the reality TV show, March - the republican's fiancee, all hate each other. There is no camaraderie, no sisterly love. Billie, Kellyanne and Liza are supposedly friends but Billie calls all women bitches and much, much worse. She hates anyone who has the man she wants. Billie has a voracious sexual appetite, fueled by drugs and alcohol, she is obviously in need of help, but she is given as many disgusting sexual acts as possible whilst practically unconscious. Am I meant to find this sexy?
Liza is appalled by a recent film release called "Watch Her Bleed" where the women, as Liza explains, are "assertive, opinionated, high-achievers who one by one are stalked, terrorized, humiliated and brutally murdered."
So what was I was expecting from a bonkbuster? Well strong women for a start, not women that are the fantasy of certain men and not women that hate each other because they are all rivals over some man.
No-one likes writing a bad review, and it does bother me when someone has put in a lot of hard work, but at Trashionista we promise to give it to you straight. All this book did was to make me feel extremely uncomfortable.
The book does have a page turning factor, because I wanted to know who the blood stains belonged to in the Hampton's summer house that were mentioned at the beginning of the book. When I found out, I was as appalled as Liza was by the film. Without giving it away, all I can say is the ending of this book makes it no better than "Watch her Bleed".
Rating: 1/5
Like this? Try Octavia by Jilly Cooper (it's just as bad)
