Trashionista

BOOK REVIEW: Pretty Little Mistakes by Heather McElhatton

I was so keen to read this book after it was recommended by our readers on more than one occasion. Plus I loved the idea! A modern, chick lit, choose your own adventure? Who wouldn't love that? Well. I didn't. At all.

This is quite a difficult review to write because, while I thought the writing in Pretty Little Mistakes was wonderful, the situations totally believable and the achievement (150 possible endings!) phenomenal, I hated every single adventure I read.

Let me explain about the book a little bit, in case you haven't read it. It's written in the second person, which situates the reader as the main character. So it begins: "You're graduating. Rushing headlong into the unknown rest of your life.Your friends are drifting off in every direction." Etc. At first I thought this would make it difficult to get into, but it did the opposite, within pages I was totally involved.

The first choice is between going to college with your boyfriend and going travelling. Once I'd convinced myself that, since it was a book, I could do what I'd *like* to do (go travelling) rather than what I probably would have done in real life (college), I turned to the next section. Where, when I tell my boyfriend I'm not joining him, he "calls you a bitch and asks you who the hell you think you are and slaps you across the face." Okay. Not loving the boyfriend, but now I get to choose between California and Europe. I pick Europe.

Where, before long I'm basically a concubine for a gangster. Plus I've had a quick lesbian orgy and yet another asshole boyfriend.

I go back. I decide against going out with the gangster and pick another way. I'm a meth addict. And my boyfriend beats me up. Again.

Back to the beginning. I choose California. My car breaks down. I haven't got any money. I have sex with the mechanic. ("OK, OK, it's slutty, but nobody here knows you and what else are you supposed to do?")

I go back to the beginning. I'm killed by a terrorist bomb. Back. I'm raped and then murder my rapist. Back. I go travelling, become a drug addict and get murdered myself (shovel in the stomach ... ow).

By this point, I'm afraid to pick the book up. I don't even want to know what horrible "adventures" lie in store. I tell a friend about the book and she says perhaps it's intentional. Perhaps the idea behind it is that no matter what path you choose, life is shit and then you die.

I'm not a fan of this interpretation, but I do give her the book (which, weirdly, she's really keen to read).

Rating: 2/5 (one for the idea, one for the great writing)

Like this? Try something sweet and charming to soothe your nerves. Any Princess Diaries book would do.

MORE ON MONDAY: Dirty Martini by JA Konrath

I've heard great things about JA Konrath, but fewer than 50 pages in I had to stop reading. There were poisoned nails set as booby traps ... fear, carnage ... *shudder* ... I had to stop reading. So I gave it to my husband to review...

Reviewed by David Stainton

Forgive me, but when I inevitably discovered that 'J A' stood for Joseph Andrew, meaning the sexy, kick-ass Lieutenant Jacqueline "Jack" Daniels was created by a nerdy-looking forty something bloke, it put me off the book before I'd even given it a chance. Irrational I know, but I can't put it out of my head. It's probably what Victorian readers of Middlemarch felt when they discovered George Elliot wasn't a forty-Woodbine-and-ten-pints-of-ale-a-day fella.

That apart, I was left feeling unsatisfied as a whole at the end of the book. Putting aside my wavering suspension of disbelief about the whole plot, which revolves around a mad sociopath poisoning half of Chicago, and Daniels apparently having to solve the whole case by herself, it just wasn't thrilling enough for a thriller, suspenseful enough for a mystery, or funny enough for a comedy.

The writing is sharp enough, and if Konrath had concentrated on the investigation, without throwing in cliched hokum around ex-partners, both professional and personal then I could have cared more about the outcome. Unfortunately I didn't care enough to overlook the fact that once more than a dozen people had died horribly then the city would have been shut down till the murderer was caught.

As it is, Daniels lurches from one near-fatal encounter with her nemesis to the next, leaving a trail of dead cops and civilians in her wake. And the fact that she didn't see the blindingly obvious link to the killer which is revealed in order to lead her to the final showdown offends me as a fellow member of the law enforcement community. Sorry, but Jack Daniels left a funny taste in my mouth...

Rating: 2/5

Like this? Try One For the Money by Janet Evanovich

BOOK REVIEW: Rules for Saying Goodbye by Katherine Taylor

Reviewed by Helen Redfern

Rules for Saying Goodbye is the debut novel by Katherine Taylor. Many writers' first novels are autobiographical or semi autobiographical. Katherine’s is no exception except she goes further and names her main character after herself.

At the age of twelve Katherine, the book's central character, is sent away by her mother from the town in California, where she lives with her parents and two brothers, to an East Coast boarding school where she discovers boys, the cruelties of teenage girls and pink cocaine. She then drifts from New York to London, back to New York, to Rome, back to New York before finally settling in LA. Most of the story takes place in New York. But Sex and the City this isn’t. To be fair though, I don’t think that was Taylor's intention.

In an interview reported here on Trashionista Katherine the writer has stated that it’s hard “when you’re blonde and attractive and you live in LA and you’ve written a book about a young woman in New York, not to be called ‘chick-lit’”. This is definitely a darker, more satirical book than the more frothy contemporary women’s fiction around and I applaud Katherine the writer for that and for her brave style of writing.

But, in all honesty. I didn’t get it.

Fellow writer Polly Williams in an interview with Trashionista describes Rules for Saying Goodbye as "hilarious". Much of Katherine’s satire and punchy one liners however were lost on me. Where, I suspect, Katherine is being satirical, I just found it depressing. In fact the whole book has a sense of doom. Whether this was because she tended to focus on the more negative things that happened to "her" or she is being dry, making clever observations about life and I am just too stupid to see the humour.

But those things she does mention - the cancer of her best friend, her mother’s depression - we don’t actually get much depth from. Like 9/11 - she makes reference to it, but it is casual - although her hints at the depression that lies over New York in the days, weeks and months that follow are perhaps more real than what has been written about elsewhere.

As for Katherine the character I get to neither like her or know her during the course of the book. I got the sense when researching Katherine the writer that she is determined and feisty but this doesn’t come across. Had it done so, I think I would have actually liked the book.

For me, the book is summed up when Katherine meets a long lost elderly acquaintance and opts not to say hello because she has "nothing interesting to tell her". Quite. So why write a book about this "nothing interesting"?

Rating: 2/5

Like this? Try The Wonder Spot by Melissa Bank

BOOK REVIEW: Kiss My Book by Jamie Michaels

I was so excited when I read the premise for young adult novel, Kiss My Book. It's the story of Ruby Crane, who sold her first book and got a movie deal at the age of 15, but is then accused of plagiarism.

The clear parallels with the Kaavya Viswanathan scandal appealed to me - in case you missed it, Viswanathan was 19 when her debut novel, How Opal Mehta Got Kissed, Got Wild, and Got a Life was published and was subsequently found to contain sections bearing startling similarities to various other books - and to begin with I thought Kiss My Book was going to be great, but it then went off at a tangent and, I felt, lost the plot.

After the plagiarism accusation, Ruby runs away to her aunt's house in a small town in Upstate New York. She calls herself Georgie and decides she's never going to have anything to do with books again. She immediately makes friends with a girl named Rabbit and falls for Rabbit's cousin, Jacob, who is not only a hottie, but a big reader.

After a while, Ruby realises that she misses books and can't live without them after all, and so starts a book club in her aunt's shop. The book then becomes a sort of parable (or maybe a parody of a parable) and I found it both unrealistic and patronising. Despite the fact that the teens are all fully conversant with a range of poetry, the rest of the dimwit residents of this small town appear to have never even heard of books before and get completely overexcited. Rabbit's mother is reading romance novels and so she and Rabbit's dad start having sex again. The Single Moms Club becomes the Reading Moms Club. When Ruby's aunt's store is threatened with closure the town's residents take to the streets in protest.

Yes, Ruby has to admit that she plagiarised, but it's okay because at least, through her time in Whispering Oaks, she's learned to be honest with herself, and brought literature to the unwashed masses. I think you can tell, it irritated me no end.

There's also a subplot about what may be behind the whispering of Whispering Oaks, but this felt like it had been slotted in from an entirely different book. All in all - and despite the fact that Ruby is, most of the time, an entertaining and intelligent heroine and Jacob is a hot hero - Kiss My Book didn't live up to my expectations. A shame.

Rating: 2/5

Like this? Try The Boyfriend List by E Lockhart

BOOK REVIEW: Liz Jones's Diary by Liz Jones

For anyone who doesn't know already, Liz Jones is the raven-haired columnist whose personal and marital exploits usually grace the Mail on Sunday's You magazine on a weekly basis. Now to tell you the truth, I (and many others) assumed that her column was fake; a fictional Bridget-like heroine who's nearing forty and has an obsession with organic groceries. But lo and behold, it's not.

She's actually real.

Pardon my stupidity here, but there was naive little me thinking that no real woman would openly divulge the details of her life and marriage to the entire nation in a column. Oops, I was wrong. So when I saw Liz Jones's book (aptly named Liz Jones's Diary), I was both curious and worried.

Let me just say that I LOVE girly memoirs - non-fiction offerings from authors, columnists and, well, bloggers-turned-authors. They all get my vote. And this one? This one is hard, because I love it...

...yet at the same time, I hate it. Trust me, it's odd.

Liz Jones's Diary (How One Single Girl Got Married) is basically a collection of her columns in diary form, from her days as a singleton to her first date with her (now ex) husband Nirpal. It's not THAT interesting, especially as the majority of the book seems to focus on her cats, yet I can't help but adore her writing style.

But there's one major problem about this book and the You columns that really gets to me.

Liz Jones herself.

Throughout the book, Liz comes across as a selfish, bossy, argumentative...well, to put it bluntly, bitch. Her entries tell of treating her younger boyfriend like a child, telling him off for small things and worse still, talking as though this is something ALL women do. Her excessive name-dropping really started to grate on my nerves shortly after starting the book, but no more than the overuse of 'organic' items. It seems as though poor Lizzie is unable to eat or drink anything unless it's organic and has great pleasure in telling us about a thousand times.

Don't get me wrong, she is a talented writer, and this book isn't at all a rubbish read. But sadly it's more scary than entertaining; this is no regular couple. Liz is fussy, snobby and treats her cats better than she treats her husband, and only comes across as more desperate, sad and seemingly frightened of aging what with the excessive amount of beauty products she uses (don't worry, she lists the prices of everything, too!) than stylish.

Is she like this in real life, or is it simply a case of over-exaggeration? I'm hoping the latter, but I guess we'll never know.

One thing I DO know though? Liz will never be Bridget.

Rating: 2/5

Like this? Try The Late Bloomer's Revolution by Amy Cohen

BOOK REVIEW: A Bad Bride's Tale by Polly Williams

Reviewed by Helen Redfern

A Bad Bride’s Tale is Polly Williams’ second book after the successful The Rise and Fall of a Yummy Mummy.  Rather confusingly A Bad Bride’s Tale was also known as The Egg Race in hardback. The Egg Race is not a brilliant title but I think A Bad Bride’s Tale as a title is misleading. Yes she’s a bride, but bad? Hmm.

Stevie Jonson is getting married to Jez. Everything is organised for the big day. But there is a problem. Stevie just isn’t physically attracted to her fiancé anymore. He is also a bit self absorbed and manipulative. However, she is thirty four, she can hear the tick, tick, tick of her biological clock and feels this man is the last chance she’ll have to have a baby. Thus ‘The Egg Race’.

To cause further confusion for Stevie, Sam, her childhood friend and one time crush, returns from France two weeks before she says ‘I do’. Her doubts before the big day, however, are pushed to the back of her mind after a crisis in the family of her soon to be in laws. On their honeymoon, they bump into Katy, an ex of Sam’s. Katy is hoping her current boyfriend Seb will be proposing any day now.

This book is a page turner. The proof of this is that I sneaked away from my family on Sunday to keep reading it. I like Williams’ writing style. She is vivid with her words and sets the scene really well. But I feel certain things let the book down.

On one level it is a straightforward romantic comedy. On another Williams raises deeper issues regarding declining fertility and the modern working woman. To cover such a complex and important issue, with such a one dimensional, weak character does not do the subject justice. Frustratingly, Stevie is incredibly reliant on a man and does not voice her own wants at all. Whilst in reality there are women like this, for this story and plot to work I needed a character I could empathise with more.

Then there is Katy, the secondary female character. I felt she was such a media cliché of a woman wanting to get married and have babies before her ovaries shrivel up, it made me want to weep and this interrupted the flow of the story.

Marian Keyes produces contemporary novels covering serious issues with strong, rounded female leads. I think there is promise here, but with A Bad Bride's Tale, Williams hasn’t yet managed to achieve the same high level.

Rating: 2/5

Like this? Try Baby Proof by Emily Giffin

BOOK REVIEW: Honor and Evie by Susannah Bates

Reviewed by Helen Redfern

It has been a long time since I’ve wanted to throw a book across a room, but parts of this one almost made me dent the plasterboard in frustration.

Honor and Evie are best friends and also cousins. Honor is the rich, sophisticated cousin, and Evie the poor, prickly one.

So far, so clichéd.

We follow their lives though University, relationships and various jobs until both of them realise they are on the wrong course in life and decide to change it.

Honor is seeing Abe, an actor, who actually sounded quite nice if it wasn’t for his substance abuse problem. And the fact he wanted to go out and make a name for himself in L.A. See what I mean about cliché? She quickly lets that relationship fizzle out and falls for Edward, a sophisticated and wealthy neighbour.

Evie meets a man who looks after her, understands her prickliness and would do anything for her. However, somewhat for the sake of the story, he has a personality change over the course of a few pages and thinks he’s in love with Honor.  (This is the part where I had to restrain myself from throwing the book.)

The blurb on the back cover told me that they were best friends but I didn’t see much evidence of that. Yes they had a friendship, but it didn’t seem quite right. So when this friendship is threatened with life’s ups and downs I didn’t actually realise and thought this was, well, their normal relationship.

We are introduced to both Evie’s and Honor’s family. In line with the stereotypes of the book it is fair to say that the poorer parents are the more loving and sensitive towards the cousins. Obviously the richer ones are boorish, have the sensitivity of a rhino and deserve their comeuppance.

I didn’t like the way I was supposed to root for Evie just because she had less money. Honor has problems later on and even then the reader isn’t really encouraged to feel for her. There are some interesting characters but they struggled to escape from too many clichés.

Throughout the book the author, Susannah Bates, quickly progresses onto different stages in the characters lives thus renewing my interest every now and again. I did, however, find the quickly changing points of view made the book a confusing read.

I felt the story was quite a good one. I actually thought it improved towards the end. The characters were solid (if you took away the stereotypes and made them a little more likeable) and they stayed with me for a while afterwards. It was as if they were saying to me, ‘we had all the elements of a good story, enough to make you wonder about us…but somehow it doesn't quite click’.

Rating: 2/5

Like this? Try Saffron Skies by Lesley Lokko

BOOK REVIEW: Following My Toes by Laurel Osterkamp

Following My Toes is Laurel Osterkamp's first novel. The title refers to Faith's psychic powers - when something bad is going to happen her skin hurts, but when it's something good in her future, her toes itch.

Following a bad break-up, Faith's friend suggests she move from Duluth to Minneapolis. The itching in her toes suggests this is just what she needs, but once there she starts to doubt her abilities since everything that could go wrong, does.

In fact, before she's even arrived in town she has a run-in with an obnoxious (but sexy) mechanic, Ethan. Her roommate, Missy, is not only a phone sex worker and stripper, she's a nutcase. Struggling to find a teaching job, Faith begins work as a barista in the local coffee bar where an utterly awful customer treats her like dirt.

That's not all. Before long she's being stalked, her friend Carolyn's apparently perfect relationship is breaking down and her spoilt younger sister comes to stay. Plus she still has to go back to Duluth for her parents' taxidermy convention. Yes, taxidermy convention.

And if you think all of the above sounds farfetched, you'd be right. But the thing that really makes it unbelievable isn't the events, it's that every single character constantly behaves like an idiot. Every last one. You know some books when you can tell a character only behaves a certain way because the plot requires it? Well this book is like that all the way through. I didn't believe a second of it.

It's a shame because I liked the basic premise, but the book itself came close to being thrown across the room on more than one occasion.

Rating: 2/5

Like this? Try Me vs Me by Sarah Mlynowski (it's much better)

BOOK NEWS: Bollywood Nights by Shobhaa De

Bollywood Nights - or "The original Bollywood novel" as the cover would have us believe - is a difficult book to review. On the one hand, I'd like to say it's absolute tripe, but on the other, I read the whole thing and usually if a book's bad I can't finish it.

Written in 1992, Bollywood Nights is basically Jackie Collins does Bollywood. But Jackie Collins is a better writer than Shobhaa De. I can't see any reference to a translator anywhere, so I assume it was written in English and that might explain some, but not all, of the problems I had with this book.

Anyway, it's basically the story of Indian film star Aasha Rani (for some reason, her name is spelled "Asha" on the back cover). Aasha Rani's mother decided that turning her daughter into a film star was the best way out of the hovel they'd found themselves in following the breakdown of her relationship with a wealthy (and married) studio owner. Prostituting her young daughter out to all and sundry, she was quickly successful and Aasha Rani became "Sweetheart of Millions".

Aasha Rani's morals aren't much better than her mother's and the book features a series of sexual adventures, which are treated pretty much the same whether they're with Aasha Rani's husband, a stranger on a plane or another woman. If in doubt, Aasha Rani's motto seems to be, find someone to have sex with. When she's not having sex she's running away - to New Zealand, to Madras, to London - and being betrayed by everyone in her life.

The thing is, while it's true that Aasha Rani was exploited by her mother at a young age, she then refuses to take responsibility for her life and behaves appallingly throughout the novel. But not in a powerful anti-heroine way, just in an irritating way that makes you want her to cop on to herself and get a grip.

The action becomes more and more far-fetched and ridiculous and I cared less and less about Aasha Rani and her family (and I didn't care much to begin with). At the end I didn't feel like she'd learned or achieved anything.

It's all rather vague and unformed and I never really believed or accepted anyone's - least of all Aasha Rani's - motivations for anything.

I can only assume this book has been reissued purely to take advantage of the young British Asian population and not because it's actually worth reading. Very disappointing.

Rating: 2/5

Like this? Try  The Washingtonienne by Jessica Cutler

BOOK REVIEW: This Little Piggy Went to Prada by Amy Allen

This Little Piggy Went to Prada is a collection of traditional nursery rewritten for "the Blahnik Brigade". And if you find the idea irritating, wait until you hear what's inside.

This little piggy went to Prada
This little piggy went to Cannes
This little piggy went to Nobu
And this little piggy, Hakkasan
And this little piggy went "Wee wee wee wee!"
All the way home because she had a fat bottom!

No, I'm not joking, that's really one of the rhymes featured in this book. I found this book incredibly annoying. I know it's meant to be tongue in cheek and, yes, 10% of the profit from each copy sold is going to Save the Children, but still it's one of the most irritating books I've ever read.

It does have one saving grace and that's the illustrations - by Eunkyung Kung - which are stunningly beautiful.

Patronising, obnoxious and mildly offensive. Please avoid.

Rating: 2/5 (for the illustrations)

Like this? Try Shopaholic & Baby by Sophie Kinsella

BOOK REVIEW: The Summer Psychic by Jessica Adams

Keris talking about Australian authors the other day has inspired me to dig out Jessica Adams's The Summer Psychic for a review - she's Australian, you see. And this book also ties nicely into our summer special (ongoing 'til the end of this month, peeps).

The Summer Psychic is Jim Gabriel, an Aussie resident of Brighton who gets visions when he looks into any expanse of water (although his favourite method of fortune-telling is peering into water in the bucket from a child's bucket-and-spade set - well, why not?)

When local reporter Katie Pickard is sent to interview him about what will happen in the following year, she's skeptical to the point of being uninterested. Until Jim makes a surprising prediction: next summer, he and Katie will get married.

But Katie promptly falls in love with Pete, local musical hero (with more than a touch of the Pete Dohertys about him) and they embark on a whirlwind, if not always that romantic, relationship. Meanwhile,  Jim's predictions start to come true, and the paper Katie works for stitches him up with an untrue and unkind exposé. And Jim's colleague Courtney, a witch, seduces Katie's boss and causes all kinds of unpleasant things to start happening.

The book is full of quirky, strange characters, most of who (except Courtney) have an odd kind of charm, but I didn't really believe in any of them. When Katie falls in love with Pete, we're told about it rather than shown her love develop (or given any reason for her falling or such a waster - she's may be on the rebound from a tragic relationship, but still...) Things seem to happen in rather jumpy scenes rather than there being any kind of sophisticated progression.

One thing I was hoping for was some kind of explanation of Jim's powers, but it was all a bit wishy-washy, 'we can't possibly know how it works'-type stuff, which frustrated me. I couldn't really buy into it and I found the book's conclusion a bit sudden and the storyline rambling. Unimportant dialogue was extended and important stuff rushed over.

It's not all bad, though - Katie is an endearing narrator and Adams can write, I'm just not sure about her ability to hold a story together over the length of a novel. I'd like to see her have a go at a story with a far less complex conceit, 'cos for me, this one fell flat.

Rating: 2/5

Like this? Try An English Psychic in Hollywood by Lucinda Clare.

BOOK REVIEW: Around the World in 80 Dates by Jennifer Cox

When Jennifer Cox's workaholism - she's a travel writer and broadcaster - meant that she never had time to meet men, she decided to travel around the world dating. Entrusting her friends to fix her up with their friends, she set up 80 dates from Sweden to New Zealand to LA.

I thought this book would be the perfect summer book - I could do some vicarious travelling *and* some vicarious dating (I've been married for 11 years...), but it didn't quite work out that way...

Considering she's a travel writer I didn't find the descriptions of the places Jennifer visited particularly engaging. The men weren't great shakes either and I found myself scanning quite a lot. Until, that is, she arrived at the Burning Man Festival and met Garry.

Now usually our rule here at Trashionista is not to mention anything that happens after the first hundred pages so as not to risk spoilerage, but I'm going to make an exception with this book. But the thing is, the spoilers are built right in! The back cover features a picture of the author looking very loved up with Garry. The book's dedication reads 'To my parents ... with love and thanks for putting up with years of my nonsense. And to G. who has all that to come'. Why, how will I ever crack that code?!

Garry is date number 55 and once Jennifer meets him, her writing (and the story) really start to sparkle. She makes the Burning Man Festival sound fascinating and wonderful (albeit a little bit scary) and Garry sounds utterly gorgeous. They fall in love. And then Jennifer has to go off and do another 25 dates. Which Garry is cool with. Really. Jennifer isn't though and, since I've spoilered* once, I may as well spoiler again - Around the World in 80 Dates is mistitled. Yes, she gives up before the end.

There are some entertaining aspects to this book, but all in all I found it disappointing. Although I am very glad Jennifer and Garry are so happy.

*it's a word!

Rating: 2/5

Like this? Try Dating Amy by Amy DeZellar

BOOK REVIEW: Back on Blossom Street by Debbie Macomber

Reviewed by Diane Johnston of Corrieblog...

Judging from the blurb, I thought Debbie Macomber's Back on Blossom Street would be right up my alley. A group of women come together for a knitting class and we find out about their lives as they become friends. Well, um...I can't say the book lived up to my expectations. This book is the third novel set on Blossom Street, a little Seattle neighbourhood. Blossom Street is lined with little shops and the main narrator of this book, Lydia, spends a lot of time filling us in on the shop owners' past events, along with a good majority of the lives of the customers of those shops as well.

Lydia herself is the owner of the Yarn shop where the knitting classes take place. This book revolves around the current life crises of knitting students Alix, who's about to be married but whose wedding organizing has been overrun by her future mother-in-law and another friend, and Collette who is widowed but recently pregnant by her ex-employer. Lydia's sister also has a family crisis which affects her whole family. The story follows the three women's events.

I wanted to like this book but I didn't really. I like a bit of spice in my book, a bit of sex and humour. This had none of the first and not a whole lot of the second. Lydia, in particular, drove me to distraction. Even though she purported to be worried about her sister's family's problems, you never really felt that anxiety. It was all told almost off-handedly. She is supportive, understanding, reasonable, a great wife and mother, a great cook, advisor to everyone that knows her, confident, generous, and... well, you get the picture. She's perfect. To the point where I found her sanctimonious and boring. The other two women are flawed, make bad decisions for the right reasons, but it all works out in the end for them too.

The book has an overtone of Christian spirituality and forgiveness which makes me wonder if that was the main target audience. (There are, as well, two knitting patterns included for prayer shawls, which is the project that the students are knitting). That's not a criticism, it's just not my type of book, that's all. If you've already read Debbie Macomber's books and loved them, then you will like this one too. It's more of the same. Amazon.com calls it "saccharine prose" and that hits the nail on the head for me. It's not badly written, it's just too sweet and nice. The characters and the dialogue don't feel "real".

I want sex. I want bitchy repartee. I want to laugh out loud and maybe even sniff back a tear or two. I want to identify with at least one of the characters.

I didn't get any of that with this book, I'm afraid. Your mileage may vary.

Rating: 2/5

Like this? Try The Friday Night Knitting Club by Kate Jacobs.

BOOK REVIEW: The Girls' Almanac by Emily Franklin

Emily Franklin's The Girls' Almanac covers relationships, fertility problems, betrayals, illness, death and, ultimately, friendships: how they are formed and why they last. Following the intertwining lives of Jenna and Lucy, two women who eventually become best friends, we are taken on a tour of how people’s lives cross and what brings them together. The book is written in an unusual format. It’s not linear, instead we get a snippet here and a snippet there told in a series of short stories. First up is Lucy as she comes to terms with the death of her fiance and her mother’s second marriage. The second story is also about Lucy but this time she is a young girl with a friend called Alex. Next comes Gabrielle and Andrea, both as young girls, then Gabrielle pops up two stories later as a doctor in Bogota.

There are so many stories and time frames the characters are hard to keep up with (there’s a chart at the beginning of the book just in case the reader loses track). No sooner have we met and been given the background of a character than that story ends and we hear no more about them, which gave me the impression that the book was imparting facts rather than telling a story. Some stories were interesting but there were some I just didn’t see the point of. Unfortunately the second was one of them, which didn’t bode well for the rest of the book.

It has been said that some short stories are a slice of life but the detached way in which these stories were told left me unemotional about the characters and not really concerned about how or why their lives intertwined. [Nicola Pedley]

Rating: 2 out of 5

Like this? Try The Girl’s Guide to Hunting and Fishing by Melissa Bank.

BOOK REVIEW: Chocolate Beach by Julie Carobini

I’ve heard quite a lot about Christian (sometimes called “inspirational”) chick lit, so when I heard about Julie Carobini’s Chocolate Beach (and saw the fantastic cover) I had to snap it up.

Free-spirited Bri Stone has an idyllic life, living at a California beach, working as a tour guide and taking care of her beloved husband and son. But when Bri begins to worry that her hard-working lawyer husband Douglas may be bored with her -  and friends and family urge her to change to hang on to her man - things start to fall apart. With pressure from her mother-in-law to make her beach house more suited to a man of Douglas’s stature, bitchy comments from a former friend, and a new, erratic boss at the tour company, Bri doesn’t quite know what to do for the best.

I had high hopes for Chocolate Beach, but I was disappointed. I’m not at all religious and was concerned the religious aspects would bug me, but they didn’t, they fitted seamlessly into the story, informing and aiding Bri’s choices. What I did have a problem with was the plot and the characters. I liked Bri, but the supporting characters, from Douglas to his mother to Bri’s former and new bosses, the characters behaviour seemed unrealistic and just a way of furthering the pretty weak plot. Often, events came out of nowhere and left me unsatisfied.

Carobini does have a lovely turn of phrase, but between little happening and the unconvincing nature of that which does happen, I was sadly disappointed.

Rating: 2 out of 5

Like this? Try Everyone Else’s Girl by Megan Crane

BOOK REVIEW: Taming the Beast by Emily Maguire

Emily Maguire's debut novel could be described as literary erotic fiction. It's the dark tale of a fourteen-year-old who is seduced by her English teacher one day at school, and of the life-changing chain of events that this unleashes for the heroine and everyone close to her.

Sarah is obsessed with Mr Carr, sex and literature - in that order. But how far will she, and the people who love her, go for the sake of devotion and obsession? In some ways, the character of Sarah was not easy to identify with - she was ruthless, often cold-hearted, and she treated herself and others with little respect. But somehow Emily Maguire made her oddly sympathetic. Mr Carr, who I expected to hate, came across as human too - albeit a terribly flawed, damaged individual. There was something compelling about the story of Sarah's exploits, and I found it very easy to care about Sarah's friend Jamie, her longtime friend and admirer.

Throughout this book, Emily Maguire explores the complexity of relationships. There are no easy answers. This is sometimes an uncomfortable read, but a worthwhile one. The descriptions of Sarah's violent sex life were graphic but not gratuitous, though not particularly erotic, either. The focus was on the emotional state of the characters, and the book was both disturbing and thought-provoking. It is worth reading for a no-holds-barred look at the extremes of female sexuality, and the study of where the true power lies in relationships. There were parallels drawn with Jane Eyre which, though slightly hard to get a grip on initially, gave the book an interesting focus on unconventional heroines, and a feminist slant. A dark and original book. [Luisa Plaja]

Rating: 4 out of 5

Like this? Try Notes on a Scandal by Zoe Heller

MORE ON MONDAY: Child of the North by Josephine Cox

I’ve never read a Josephine Cox book. I read an extract of one as part of my English degree and I really didn’t enjoy it at all, so why did I read Child of the North? Because it’s not a Josephine Cox novel, it’s written by Piers Dudgeon with Josephine Cox for a start and it’s more the story of Josephine’s childhood in Lancashire, very near to where I live now.

Josephine Cox grew up as one of ten children in an extremely poor family in Blackburn. Her mother worked in a cotton mill. Strangely - since at school we seemed to study the Industrial Revolution to the exclusion of almost everything else - I’m still pretty interested in the subject and Piers Dudgeon (with Josephine Cox) writes extremely evocatively about the industry and related hardships.

The main problem with this book is that Josephine’s memories are illustrated with extracts from her novels, which are generally sentimental and overblown (if you’ve never read any of her novels, just the titles should give you an idea of what to expect: Angels Cry Sometimes, Her Father’s Sins, Cradle of Thorns). Even the memoir bits suffer from this - Josephine talks about how times were hard but “we made our own fun,” even about how she once received an orange for Christmas. It’s a bit like listening to your grandma after a couple of sweet sherries.

Having said that, I did enjoy the historical aspect of the book and it’s quite entertaining to walk past our local florists and say, “Josephine Cox lived there.”

Rating: 2 out of 5

Like this? Try The Life and Times of the Thunderbolt Kid by Bill Bryson

BOOK REVIEW: How to Walk in High Heels by Camilla Morton

Subtitled 'The Girl's Guide to Everything' and with a forward by John Galliano, this pink tome was seemingly designed for the Sex in the City crowd, cosmo-drinkers in search of the fashionable way to live life and get it right. And it is, to a certain extent.

Like any good fashionista, Morton name drops like it's going out of style. But like the best sort of fashionista, she doesn't do the name-dropping herself. Sections written by the likes of Kylie Minogue (How to enhance your finer assets), Vivienne Westwood (How to appreciate art and where to start), Gisele (How to look good in a photo), and Christopher Bailey (How to be inspired - gorgeous places to go to) tell you all you need to know about just how chic Morton is. And if advice from her nearest and dearest won't help you attain uber-fabulousness, then there's just no hope for you, dahling.

Or is there?

While the book is undoubtedly an amusing read, it's definitely more loo book than style bible. It's divided into sections which I called 'vaguely useful' and 'duh' in my head - can you guess which fell into which category?

* Greeting Your Public (grooming, walking in high heels, applying makeup, and hat-wearing)

* Being Socially Adept (manners, cooking, art, culture)

* Tackling Your Technophobia (gadgets, gizmos, the workplace)

* Homes and Gardens (house-buying, home economics, gardening, home maintenance)

* Joining the Jet Set (travel, driving)

I won't claim to be the best-groomed, most stylish woman out there. I'm usually quite scruffy, and I hate filing my nails. But there was nothing in the beauty section of the book that you won't have learned from friends, relatives, or [insert style bible of choice]. The more practical advice about home ownership and associated life skills will also have been passed on to you by people you know, and while it may not have been so wittily prettily presented, it's the same advice. Get a mortgage, talk to your bank, buy what you can afford, don't put offers down on 36 places at once. Gee, thanks. I never would've figured that one out for myself. And mummy and the bank manager telling me the same thing never sunk in. But now that someone in the fashion world put it in a pink book, it all makes sense. Hurrah!

But I'm making the book sound more awful than it is. It doesn't take itself remotely seriously, and that's its saving grace. This is light-hearted fluff with a few nuggets of gold (Gisele's photo advice being one), and as long as you don't pick it up expecting anything more, you won't be disappointed. Loo book, no question.

Rating: 2 out of 5

Like this? Try The Goddess Guide by Gisele Scanlon

BOOK REVIEW: The Salem Witch Tryouts by Kelly McClymer

Another of the books I’d hoped to review during NaNovember - Kelly McClymer wrote The Salem Witch Tryouts for National Novel Writing Month. A young adult paranormal, it's a departure from Kelly’s usual style (she’s previously written historical romance).

Prudence is half witch (on her mother’s side) and half mortal (on her father’s side). Growing up in Beverly Hills and encouraged by her mother, she has lived as a mortal and neglected her magical side, concentrating instead of becoming captain of the cheerleading squal as well as, of course, being popular and “kewl”.

But then Pru’s parents decide to move the family to Salem, Massachusetts, where Pru will begin her magical education at Agatha’s Day School for Witches. Pru is desperate to retain her popular status at her new school, but finds that her magic just isn’t up to scratch. She’s just not cool either, lunching with the “fringies” - the kids that don’t belong to any one particular group - and being tormented by the school’s bad boy.

Plus she’s just not getting enough time and attention from her best friend back in California, who’s grounded so she can only text and doesn’t seem to have that much time for Pru anymore anyway.

I enjoyed The Salem Witch Tryouts to a point. I liked the premise and Pru is a fun character, but basically this book reads almost entirely as set-up for the series. There’s very little plot or action and the ending - a summary of what’s gone before, which literally begins with the words, "So, to recap ..." - is anti-climactic. A disappointment (but I’ll probably read the next book in the hope that things really get going).

Rating: 2 out of 5

Like this? Try I Was a Teenage Popsicle by Bev Katz Rosenbaum

MORE ON MONDAY: Nul Points by Tim Moore

Tim Moore’s five books to date have been (mostly) hilarious travelogues, where he puts himself through epic journeys, suffering for our enjoyment whether by trawler across the Arctic Circle (Frost On My Moustache), following the route of the Tour De France (French Revolutions) or recreating the Grand Tours of Renaissance Europe in a knackered Rolls Royce (Continental Drifter). When he’s taken the easier route (a tour of the Monopoly board locations in Do Not Pass Go), the results were patchy, in my opinion. His last travelogue, Spanish Steps found the hapless Moore on a pilgrimage across Spain accompanied by a truculent donkey, and was a rather-him-than-me return to form.

Given that I’m not Scandinavian, the owner of a mullet (anymore) or, shall we say, flamboyant, I’m not exactly in the ideal demographic to review a book about the Eurovision Song Contest (Moore attends the 2005 Contest and describes it like “going to the gay World Cup”). Specifically, Nul Points is Moore’s quest to track down each of the 14 contestants who, since 1974, have returned from their respective Eurovisions with a big fat zero against their country’s flag. Or as he puts it, “the unfortunates left to wander the lonely, windswept summit of Mount Fiasco without a point to their names.”

Many of the zero ‘heroes’ refuse point blank to meet Moore, on the grounds that Eurovision ruined their lives, or in the case of Cetin Alp of Turkey, because he was dead. Celia Lawson of Portugal (her dad was from Bolton) was a nul pointer in 1997 and seems to have suffered some sort of breakdown in the intervening years, and it’s her story which has the most poignancy. The writer (who clearly had a crush on her) only just resisting the urge to hug her and tell everything’s going to be ok when she reveals that she regrets doing Eurovision, after which she could only find work as a chamber maid.

To misquote Kipling (Rudyard not Mr), Moore meets both triumph and disaster on his way round Europe and treats both imposters in the same (mostly) impartial manner. Although, always divertingly entertaining enough, the thing that’s missing for me is Moore’s self-deprecating asides as he pursues his solo goal. It’s all a bit easy for him, and apart from a funny episode when he’s busted for the world’s smallest amount of cannabis at Oslo airport, all the humour is at his subjects' expense. Maybe if Moore himself had attempted to try for Eurovision as a sub-plot it would have perked things up, but perhaps then he would have been entering “Round Ireland With A Fridge” territory, which would have been infinitely worse.

As it is, it’s an agreeable enough read, perhaps one to dip in and out of on holiday. Lets hope next time his destination is a little more challenging. [David Stainton]

Rating: 2 out of 5

Like this? Try The Yes Man by Danny Wallace

BOOK REVIEW: The Godmother by Carrie Adams

Carrie Adams has apparently created a new genre, ‘chick noir’, with her latest book, having concentrated on writing crime novels up to now.

The Godmother focuses on  Tessa King who is single and godmother to all her friends’ children. Everyone is jealous of Tessa and her life full of fun, but she’s beginning to feel that she’s missing out on marriage and motherhood.

However, when she starts to spend more time with her friends she realises married life can be far from bliss....

Adams has flashes of genius with this novel: her hilarious one-liners are so funny that you’ll be quoting them to all your friends. Unfortunately they aren’t enough to carry a whole book. Even though The Godmother focuses on Tessa it’s really about all her friends as Tessa’s life is pretty boring with the occasional one night stand thrown in to spice it up.

There are so many story threads that the book becomes disjointed and difficult to read. The lack of continuity of the plot combined with characters that jump between nasty and nice in just a few pages meant that I didn’t relate to any of them. One thing I will give Adams is that her characters did evoke strong emotion in me … hate.

As I read on every chapter revealed more and more gloomy stories, which are never really resolved satisfactorily. Personally if I wanted to be that depressed I could go and check my bank balance. If you enjoy wallowing in others misery … I mean moving stories then watch Eastenders and save your money! [Angela Richardson].

Rating: 2 out of 5

Like this? Try The Rise and Fall of a Yummy Mummy by Polly Williams.

BOOK REVIEW: A Place Called Here by Cecelia Ahern

To some, Cecelia Ahern is a modern weaver of fairytales and her fourth book A Place Called Here certainly has a touch of magic about it.

It tells the tale of Sandy Shortt, a private detective in charge of a missing persons' bureau, who is obsessed with searching for people and possessions which have mysteriously disappeared. While investigating the disappearance of Donal Ruttle she finds herself in a place called 'Here', which just so happens to be the very place lost things go - be it the odd sock from the washing machine, your much needed passport, or any one of the hundreds of people who just vanish each year.

'Here' is where the reader really has to wilfully suspend their disbelief.  To be honest, the concept that everyone and everything that has ever gone missing just happens to exist in a parallel village just didn't quite work for me. But, in the spirit of giving Ms. Ahern the benefit of the doubt, I ploughed on.

While 'Here' Sandy meets up with many of the people she has spent the last 24 years searching for and in turn sets about seeing if she can find herself. While all this is happening Donal's brother Jack is searching for Sandy in the real world and finding out all about her sometimes troubled past.

With this book you keep waiting for it to get great. The potential is there, but it never quite kicks off. Imagine if the Wizard of Oz ended with Dorothy's house landing on the wicked witch and you get an idea of how frustrating this story is.

From a writing point of view, it sometimes smacks of 'trying too hard'. There are moments of wonderfully beautiful prose, but other sections are clumsy and disjointed.

Nonetheless it is unoffensive and if you really can make belief in an alternative universe (or village) then A Place Called Here could be for you.

[Claire Allan]

Rating: 2 out of 5

Like this? Try After You'd Gone by Maggie O'Farrell

BOOK REVIEW: The Playground Mafia by Sarah Tucker

The success of The Ivy Chronicles has spawned a whole new sub-genre in mummy-lit: school-related madness mummy-lit. (It's rather a mouthful of a sub-genre).

Unlike TIC, Sarah Tucker's book isn't based around the schools admissions process -although the narrator does makes mention of that several times- but is about an intimidating group of PTA mothers who can make a parent's life very miserable: The Playground Mafia. When Caroline moves to an exclusive suburb of London and her son Ben starts at the local infants', her best friends Heather and Eva (who handily both live in the teeny-tiny catchment area too) warn her to stay on the good side of mothers (-in both senses!) Sarah, Karin and Felicity- or else. At first she doesn't take them too seriously, but then she starts to see what the "mafia" can do...

And therein lies a problem. Not just for Caroline and her friends as they are at first overpowered by and then try to outwit the P.M (Playground Mafia), but for me too. This isn't a bad idea for a book, and in fact isn't a bad book, but it has more problems than the author perhaps intended. The most obvious one being that it's rather- well, boring! No matter how interesting a concept, trying to stretch it to 452 pages when it's more of a 252 page plot is never going to work. And any book with 'Mafia' in the title should really pull no punches and keep you on the edge of your seat- not the edge of sleep...

There's a couple of possible love interests for Caroline and a hint of intrigue here and there, but then everything works out okay in the end (surprise!) This all happens with very little suspense because the book is too long. Some ruthless editing could have improved this book by 50%, but length isn't the only problem, unfortunately. It's very cliched too, with a main character who hates her ex-husband, loves her son and shopping for clothes and has a mother who is a little on the critical side. Hmm, I've never seen that done before... But my biggest criticism and I think the reason (other than it being too long) that it drags is that the author is too far along the 'tell' end of the show don't tell spectrum.  She describes events for pages and pages, and I can tell she's put a lot of effort into doing so- but a paragraph with a little speech or a revealing action would often have been far more interesting and effective, in far fewer words.

So what are the good points about the book? Well, the nasty characters are well-created and the book is much more lively when they're around. In fact, all the characters are well-drawn, even if some of them are on the stereotypical side. I also think this could have been a fabulous story, had it been executed slightly differently (and in fewer words).

I've mentioned before that I'm not in the slightest bit broody, and so books about motherhood don't always appeal to me. But I stand by what I said then: if they're interesting enough, I'll thoroughly enjoy them anyway. Unfortunately, this book wasn't- and I didn't.

Rating: 2 out of 5

Like this? Try Wife in the Fast Lane by Ivy Quinn.

BOOK REVIEW: The Great Indoors by Sabine Durrant

I agreed with Danielle that Having it and Eating It, Sabine Durrant's first novel, was a great page-turner, witty, fun and with something to say.  The Great Indoors, however, is a little different... It's story of Martha Bone, a lonely, perfectionist antiques store owner, and her two sisters who are all reunited after the death of their step-father.  Secrets and people from the past start to turn up again and Martha's past comes back to haunt her- and makes her realise she wants more from life than her sheltered existence. 

I know that sounds like a great platform for some interesting fiction, but the truth is- it isn't.

I was very disappointed with this book.  Yeah, it's got a kitschily-cool Cath Kidston cover (and you know how important covers are to Trashionista!) but focusing on a staid and socially inept main character- and worse, telling her story in the third person so we relate to her even less- just doesn't work. Martha seemed like an extreme and rather unkind caricature, and I wasn't sure what the author was trying to say about her: that antiques store owners are all fuddy duddies? That women who don't want children are sad and lonely?

There are flashes of the fun and humour we saw in Durrant's first book -I liked the way the chapters were organised into rooms, which added to the story- but a lot of sadness and sentimentality, too.  She's still a witty and talented writer, but this book left me hugely unsatisfied and feeling rather depressed.  Keris wrote about the "sophomore slump" (bad second book syndrome) and this is unfortunately a prime example.  I see Durrant's third book, a teen chick lit title, is getting much better reviews on Amazon than this one did, so hopefully she shook off the slump and moved on to better things! I won't give up on the author, but I'd be happy never to see this book again...

Rating: 2 out of 5

Like this? You'll like Having it and Eating It by Sabine Durrant a lot more! And for an author who can write unsympathetic characters wonderfully, try The Pursuit of Alice Thrift by Elinor Lipman.

BOOK REVIEW: Girl with a One Track Mind by Abby Lee

What kind of girl keeps a sachet of lubricant in her handbag in case she needs to give a hand job? A girl with a one track mind.

Abby Lee is the no longer anonymous (she was recently unmasked as London-based Zoe Margolis) author of the award winning blog Girl with a One Track Mind which records her search for satisfying, adventurous sex. The book charts one year in her life in which she tries everything from one night stands to swingers evenings  via domination and lesbian encounters...

Abby Lee is a woman of contradictions. She wants a loving relationship but picks up men in bars and on the internet and then seems surprised when all they want is a one night stand. She thinks her ex-boyfriend is emotionally immature because he’s found a woman he wants to spend time with and be faithful to, rather than taking Abby to a swingers evening.

Despite thinking of herself as adventurous Abby Lee has a very blinkered view of sex. She describes sex as being either vanilla (plain) or BDSM (bondage domination sado-masochism) and can’t see anything in between. She thinks her friends are stuck in sexually boring monogamous relationships yet as her sexual searching doesn’t even produce sex once a month at times, I’d guess that her friends are having far more sex than she is!

Unfortunately this book doesn’t work as a story or a memoir. The main character is not likeable enough and the supporting cast are easily forgotten as most only appear for one night. The details of her sexual encounters are wholly un-erotic. We are given cold hard facts - what she did, who she did it with and how many times she orgasmed - but there is no passion behind her words, no real enjoyment. And I was glad when she finally had sex for the first time that year as I was very bored reading about her tedious masturbation sessions.

I can see why this works as a blog (let’s face it most things are better than working and that’s when people would read it, as a work substitute) but it just doesn’t cut it as a sexual memoir. If you want erotic memoirs go for Anais Nin. If you want deeply disturbing then read The Story of O. If you want annoying and dull then read this. [Nicola Pedley]

Rating: 2 out of 5

Like this? Try Diary of a Manhattan Call Girl by Tracy Quan.

BOOK REVIEW: The Bachelorette Party by Karen McCullah Lutz

Karen McCullah Lutz has form: she's the co-author of the movies Legally Blonde and 10 Things I Hate About You, so if anyone should know how to appeal to a chick-lit, chick-flick lovin' audience, it's her.  Her debut novel The Bachelorette Party is about Zadie, who was recently dumped by her soap opera star fiance on the day of her wedding and now has to cope with the fact that her best male friend is marrying her straight-laced cousin Helen- and Zadie's going on the Hen Night, the last place on earth she wants to be...

For starters, can I just say that Bachelorette Party is a much more glamourous term than Hen Party?!  Although this one leaves a little something to be desired... after yoga and a vist to a juice bar, Zadie manages to persuade the girls to go a little wild, and soon she's learning that Helen might not be quite as uptight as she seems...

When I picked up this book, I thought "a whole novel about a hen night?!" and to some extent I stand by that- although it's well-written and very pacey, how much can you really say about one party?  Good job the author is so skilled at action and dialogue (I guess that's the advantage of polishing your craft on scripts first).  This is a fun read with several hard-to-predict plot twists, but there were a few things I didn't like about it...

For one, the main character is cynical almost to the point of clinical depression- rarely have you seen a blacker worldview from someone with a good job and all their limbs, living in sunny L.A.  Not only is she coarse for no good reason (I'm not a prude, but this seemed forced) she's self-pitying and very judgemental (hating anyone who does yoga, sneering at girls with the wrong manicure... and if I saw the words 'slutty whore' or 'whory bitch' one more time I was going to throw the book across the room!)  Through Zadie, the author promotes the idea that everyone should be getting drunk and having sex with strangers- or you're just no fun. (Make sure the strangers are single though, or you're a slutty... !)  Sure enough, rather than therapy the answer to Zadie's problems turn out to be drink and meeting a new man.  If only everything in life was this simple!

I think my main problem was the author was trying to hard to impress and make her book stand out by being outrageous- if she had a more relaxed style I might have warmed to the characters more.  However, if you can take this book a little less seriously than me and accept that you have to let some of the book's 'lessons' sail straight over your head, then you could find this book good escapism, with moments of humour and zest.  But in future I'll be sticking to authors who do this kind of stuff ten times better.

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Like this? Try  Welcome to Temptation by Jennifer Crusie, One for the Money by Janet Evanovich. [They're much better!]

Review: Everyone Worth Knowing

Owing to the success of its world-famous predecessor The Devil Wears Prada, Lauren Weisberger's next offering, Everyone Worth Knowing, definitely seemed worth the read. With the upcoming movie release of Prada this October, I was curious to know what else this this lady had up her sleeve!

But as they all say - the sequels are never as good as the first. Actually, Everyone Worth Knowing is NOT a sequel - it's a new character in a whole new world of work - but with the immense similarities, it might as well be.

Bette Robinson leaves her dreary bank job in New York, and with the help of her well-known columnist uncle, lands a job for Kelly & Company; one of the biggest party-planning firms around. Jumping in at the deep end, somewhat clueless Bette finds herself immediately accosted by a vast array of celebrity clients, colleagues who think that a Birkin bag will solve all of life's miseries, and a boss who promotes partying as 'good for the company.' Okay, this job is certainly not banking. But she's getting paid to party!

However, when Bette appears in the latest gossip columns as the girlfriend of Manhattan's most wanted bachelor, everyone is clamouring to know just who she is and how she managed to snare the hottest guy around, Philip Weston. If that isn't bad enough for Bette, seeing as she is in fact NOT going out with the famed millionaire, her boss thinks it's amazing. Bette's instant fame is tripled, leaving her to suffer late nights and the prospect of having to let down her best friend.

It seems like a decent plot that would make for a witty tale of celebrity life, but Everyone Worth Knowing is far from it. Much to my disappointment, it took me two weeks to get through this when I usually finish a book in a matter of three nights, due to the fact that this is simply Prada repackaged. And not only that, it's not half as interesting as the tale of Andrea Sachs. Party-girl stories about glamour and celebs are beginning to wear a bit thin, especially when the supposed heroine is one of those 'woe is me' types. Bette came across as a constantly miserable sort who would probably always have something to mentally whine about. Basically, someone you'd want to slap with a wet fish, albeit a Gucci one.

This book dragged, it wasn't at all funny, and to be blatantly honest, it read just like Prada only without the horrid boss and bitchines which made that story particularly amusing. New York? Check. Regular girl jumps into a high-flying world of designers and celebrities? Check. Unfortunately this second offering doesn't come close to Lauren's brilliantly successful debut. Despite the fact that her books are very well-written, she needs to come up with a different plot.

And quickly.

Rating : 2 out of 5

Like this? Try 'Bergdorf Blondes' by Plum Sykes.

BOOK REVIEW : Just A Little Disco On An Open-Top Bus by Candy Guard

I have to admit I was drawn to this book by the pants on the cover. No... literally. The cover shows lots of cartoon underwear in a way that made me think about Louise Rennison's teen range of books. Having loved all of these books I was sure that the contents would be equally enjoyable. The fact that author Candy Guard was the creator of animated sitcom 'Pond Life' also made me think I could be in for a treat. Oh how wrong could I be?

'Just A Little...' tells the story of Edie Dudman. Edie is completely and utterly stuck in a rut. She keeps making plans for the life she wants, but getting around to implementing them is an entirely different thing. She dreams of getting a career, but first she needs to get some qualifications behind her. That means going to college, which means registering and actually getting a prospectus or two to find the right course. Her mom and her next door neighbour just don't seem to understand how busy she is - they must spend half their lives thinking up new errands for her to run. She's got far more important things on her mind, like wondering just what she can do to get her waster boyfriend to commit.

Imagine Edie's shock when she manages to get herself a job without even trying. Soon she is the new part time sales assistant at Crusties bakers but she's not even sure how it all happened. As her days begin to hold more of a routine Edie wonders if her life is on the up... but of course fate must throw in a few more twists and turns.

This is not a good book. I found it very difficult to keep going with it, and by the end realised that there was no saving grace to be found. The plot is weak, little happens and the few events that do occur are not exciting enough to keep the attention. The characters are poorly written in general - Steve, Edie's boyfriend was particularly stereotypical as a no good waster. The only character I really enjoyed was Jarvis her one-legged neighbour. I also found it difficult to accept that this book was set 'circa 1982/3'. There seemed to be some confusion in this setting - on a number of occasions I found myself thinking 'surely that wasn't around then'.

I would struggle to recommend this book to anyone - read it with caution.

Rating : 2 out of 5

Like this? Try 'Poison Arrows' by Morag Prunty.

BOOK REVIEW- Little Earthquakes by Jennifer Weiner

Jennifer Weiner's first two books were pretty standard chick-lit fare- and I loved them. Her fourth book,Goodnight Nobody was chick-lit murder mystery - and loved it. Her third book, 2004's Little Earthquakes was her first foray into "mommy lit"- told from four different women's perspectives, all of whom recently became mothers and are struggling to varying degrees. She employs her trademark charm and good humour, and her writing style is beautiful (enviably so). So what's my problem?

I suppose I should come clean: I'm probably the least broody woman on the planet, so this book was never really aimed at me.  But if it had a strong enough story, I could have seen around the endless talk of post-baby exhaustion and nipple confusion... but as it happens, I couldn't. I know those subjects are fascinating for new mothers (which Weiner was at the time she wrote this) but they're far less interesting to the rest of us!

Another disappointment was the characters, who I felt were pretty clichéd: there's Ayinde, the rich insecure one, uptight perfectionist Kelly and plump-but-happy Kelly, a chef and the most sympathetic character by far (based on Jennifer Weiner herself, I'm betting - her best characters are always the ones who seem most like her). Kelly's chapters were the only ones I really enjoyed, and I found myself wishing the whole book had been about her. The other women are somewhat irritating and at times I felt they were included just for padding, they really add very little in the way of narrative tension. And then there's the inclusion of Lia, who lost a child in circumstances she still can't talk about, who becomes friends with the other women- which seems incredibly unlikely to me although her grief is very well-described.

I realise I'm making this sound like a terrible book, and it isn't at all- it's just sub-par for this normally excellent author. It's a series of sketches about the difficulties of motherhood, but they don't add up to anything substantial. Weiner's characters may deliver their babies, but her book can't deliver a story.

Rating: 2 out of 5

***DID YOU KNOW?*** Jennifer Weiner has a hugely popular blog, Snarkspot, where she shares gossip and news about upcoming books- including The Guy Not Taken, a collection of short stories about love, available from September in hardback (I'm sure I'll be back to loving her work with this one!)

Like this? Try Goodnight Nobody by Jennifer Weiner, Baby on Board by Stephanie Zia.

BOOK REVIEW: The Diary of a Manhattan Call Girl by Tracy Quan

I hate to admit it, but saucy, gossipy novels really do it for me. And when I happen to walk past one in the local bookstore, there's that brief moment of consideration before I grab it like the Holy Grail and rush to the counter. Books like that are like anonymous gossip, right? Tracy Quan's Diary of a Manhattan Call Girl has a simply irresistible cover and blurb that makes you want to want to rush home and curl up for an evening of raunchy secrets.

However, the back-cover blurb might just be exaggerating a little.

Diary is Tracy Quan's debut novel, and to be entirely honest, it's okay. Yep, just okay. Sadly, the book doesn't exactly live up to its promises, but even so, it's a nice light read. Worth a shot if you can pick it up at your local library.

Very well, so I guess the basic purpose of this book is pretty predictable just from the title, but I'll elaborate. Nancy Chan is a Manhattan-based call girl (well, duh). Of course, she loves her job and the money that she rakes in with it, but pretty soon she has to contemplate remaining in her profession (the classy end, of course) when her fiancé suggests they move in together. Not just that, but said fiancé's pushy sister refuses to shut up about setting a date. Seeing as nobody knows about Nancy's job other than her fellow prostitute friends, it seems as though her time is almost near to kick her habit of dishing out sex for countless material pleasures.

Now don't get me wrong: this would be a fabulous base for a book if only it wasn't so, well…dull. Tracy is no doubt a decent writer, but I quickly realised how much potential there actually was in this book which didn't prevail. Countless opportunities arose throughout for suspenseful moments such as family run-ins, embarrassing slip-ups and even a little bit of mystery, but I guess I was just expecting too much.

Not only that, but I personally found a lot of this book to be highly unrealistic. For example, being a call girl has been Nancy's ambition since the age of ten. Who has the childhood dream of being a hooker? Beats me. But apparently, it's normal. Needless to say, I was slightly baffled. And of course, with the book portraying the easy, designer lifestyles of the call girls, nothing really explained the dangers behind the profession. Sure, it wouldn't be a chick-lit read otherwise, but the whole thing seemed a little too farfetched for my liking.

Even so, I didn't mind it – until I reached the end, where the subplots really started to get interesting. Again, potential here for some real suspense – but alas, the book ended, leaving the plots completely unfinished and the reader terribly irritated. For a moment I assumed someone had played a nasty prank and removed fifty or so pages, but once more, I was simply being overly-hopeful.

Despite this book failing to deliver what it promises, Diary still remains a light read crammed with sexy secrets that are sure to be entertaining.

Bridget Jones this is certainly not, but a pleasing effort nonetheless. [Danielle Symonds-Yemm]

Rating : 2 out of 5

Like this? Try 'The World According To Mimi Smartypants' by Mimi Smartypants

BOOK REVIEW - High Maintenance by Jennifer Belle

I have to admit that review quotes on book covers frequently worry me. On the edition of Jennifer Belle's second book that I was holding, Cosmopolitan felt that the book "will have you rolling on the floor". Whilst I have a (in my opinion) well adjusted sense of humour I was a bit worried that I wouldn't find it lived up to this grand statement. There was only one way to find out...

'High Maintenance' tells the story of Liv Kellerman. At the age of 26 she finds herself divorced from her unfaithful husband, and even worse kicked out of her apartment. This apartment... well as far as apartments go its more than a little bit special. It has the perfect view of the Empire State Building, and Liv has devoted her tme to decking it out in a perfect blend of style and practicality. Liv's new apartment is in Greenwich Village, and to be perfectly honest leaves a lot to be desired. But even a hovel needs paying for...

A chance encounter sends Liv on a new career path. She has an eye for detail and a talent for description that makes her think that real estate could be profitable. The mandatory training course and exams are no problem for her - shame the same can't be said for the people she has to deal with... colleagues, sellers and buyers. You would be hard pressed to imagine a job that involved such a motley crew. And then there's Andrew. He's taken a shine to Liv, despite the fact he has a live-in girlfriend... and a nasty habit of biting ears!

The story follows Liv through her beginnings as a realtor and through Andrew's systematic pursuit of her. Whilst the career theme is readable and at times bears strong reminiscence to other books such as 'The Ivy Chronicles'. Sadly, the romance is frustrating at its least, and at its worst made me want to throw the book through the window. I found it hard at times to accept that Liv could be quite so weak.

I felt that this book  was a real shame. I really wanted it to be much better than it was. It almost feels worse that part of the book was so strong.

Rating: 2 out of 5

Like this? Try 'Jemima J' by Jane Green

Monday's Child

Queen of trashy-lit, Louise Bagshawe, has done a big about turn in style with 'Monday's Child' the first of a series of books following the popular rhyme. Not so fair of face, Anna Brown is stuck with two glamourous, self-centred flatmates, a McJob as a scriptreader in a publishing house and a dream of scriptwriting that is going nowhere fast.

Then she finds the ultimate script and sets off on a scheme to persuade hot, unapproachable director, Mark Swan, to read and make it into a movie. Along the way, fed up of her less than desirable state compared to her successful friends, Anna gets a makeover over and sets about sorting out her life in order to realise her dream. Of course, Anna is now dating the wrong man and can't seem to get the right one, then she loses her job and everything seems lost. Will she succeed? Will Mark ever love her? Educated guess anyone?

My main problem with the story is that Anna spends an awful lot of time whining about how bad she looks to the point where I wondered if she was body dysmorphic. The BritLit style wasn't too bad and it did veer - slightly - from Bagshawe's usually formula, but it just wasn't as enjoyable as her (reliably formulaic) bonkbusters. [Camilla Chafer]

Baby On Board

There's been a whole spate of books like Stephanie Zia's 'Baby on Board' recently. So many in fact that they're now crowned 'Mum-lit'. This novel covers the change in Molly's life from single girl about town (with requisite top job, ace friends and swanky London flat) to new mum....

When she gives birth to baby Daisy,  Molly is forced to relocate to the country (Kew apparently is 'the countryside') and a naff flat. Next thing you know she has a 'baby on board' sticker for her car and is pretty much abandoned by her friends.

The father of Molly's baby is wealthy correspondent Max, the man she has been having an affai