Trashionista

MORE ON MONDAY: Family Friendly Working by Antonia Chitty

Reviewed by Zoe Lea

As I work from home and have a boisterous four year old to deal with, I jumped at the chance to review this book hoping for lots of ideas and advice. I’m happy to say that I wasn’t let down.

The title and by-line ‘Inspiring Ideas for making money when you have kids’ is tackled from all angles in a practical and realistic manner.  The 10 Chapters cover a wide range of themes in the area of flexible working, from ‘Finding ways to work’ and ‘Growing your business’ to a very clear ‘How to guide.’

Unlike lots of other books in this field, Family Friendly Working draws on experiences from parents and carers at every opportunity, so the book is filled with real-life case studies of what people have done, more or less on every page.  I did find this inspiring, but as there were more than a hundred parents featured in the book, there was a  slight sense of over-kill to it.

That being said, the book is filled with good ideas, tips and advice.  It’s a good read and a great starting point for anyone wondering how to achieve that work/life balance.

Rating: 4/5

Like this? Try Zoe's website, Flexible Working Life

AUTHOR INTERVIEW: Carrie & Danielle

If you've been reading Trashionista for a while, you may have picked up on the fact that I have a somewhat obsessive personality. When I discover a book or author I love I become kind of evangelical about it and won't rest until everyone shares my opinion (bend to my will!). One such obsession is Carrie & Danielle's Style Statement.

I discovered the company a while ago, began reading their Friday Focus emails and have been waiting impatiently for the Style Statement book. Well, it's out in less than a month (1 May) and not only have Carrie and Danielle answered our questions, they've given us a copy to give away.

Carry on over the cut for the interview and your chance to win a copy.

The Style Statement is such a fabulous idea. How did you come up with it?

Thanks! Carrie was an interior designer and wanted to create a more meaningful approach to designing people's homes; design based on authenticity rather than dictatorship. So she began Style Statement as a simple questionnaire about what people loved in their living space. The process has since evolved into a deep and playful inquiry that covers every area of life-from your living room to your relationships, your career and your wellness plan!

How have your own Style Statements made a different in your life?

Carrie: My Style Statement is Refined Treasure, and it is my compass in everything I do. It reminds me to Treasure myself, my body, my time, and the people around me. It's a great filter for how I shop and what I bring into my home...and my whole life. The focus of it creates so much ease for me.

Danielle: I'm Sacred Dramatic. Style Statement works on the 80/20 principle: the first word represents your 80%, your foundation, the 2nd words is the 20%---your creative edge. In this way, mine really helps me to bring all of me to what I do-to embrace my contradictions. Things have got to be meaningful and impactful. I'm and introvert who feels at home on stage, a soul-seeking philosopher who loves trashy magazines and disco.

What can we expect from the book? Are readers going to be able to define our own Style Statements?

Yes! The book, Style Statement Live By Your Own Design, is a Discover-It-Yourself process. Guided by our Life Style Map, you'll ask yourself questions you've never asked yourself before. This is the place where you get to consider your choices in shoes, lovers, and careers!

Everything matters when you're taking your authentic self into consideration. You'll see patterns in what's working and not working for you in your wardrobe and your life at large, and with our Style Vocabulary as a jumping off point, you'll distill all of that down the two words that most meaningfully describe your genuine self. The book is an experience - a chance to define yourself on your own terms.

And...it's simply GORGEOUS!

Can you tell me more about your forthcoming e-magazine, CARRIE & DANIELLE?

Our e-magazine, www.CarrieandDanielle.com (launching in April) is really unique in that it's going to be an interactive newsletter. So, while we're offering inspiration and recommendations on everything from everyday Buddhism to eco-friendly jeans, we'll also be asking our subscribers what they recommend and desire and what inspires them. Of course, this is the beginning of an incredibly cool social site...watch out!

Do you get a chance to read? What are you reading at the moment?

Carrie: Eckhart Tolle's book, A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose is possibly the best book I've ever read. It's all about the space to "be." It's a lovely clear message - Accept Awake Aware - and I can feel myself expanding with it. I'm impressed that Oprah has created the seminar series (I just signed up). I want Eckhart to be my new best friend!

Danielle: Magazines are like an essential food group to me, and with all of the action around our book and new site launch, mags are where it's at for me this season. My essentials: Dwell, Fast Company and Inc., O, and Marie Claire can be smart. A friend just gave me Abigail Thomas' A Three Dog Life - it's waiting for my next holiday.

Who is your favourite fictional heroine and are you able to define her Style Statement?

Danielle: My favourite fictional heroine...Scout Finch from To Kill A Mockingbird. She was a little badass with a big heart and her daddy's integrity. Inspiring. As for her Style Statement...we never, ever dare to guess. Seriously.

Carrie: Nancy Drew - she's young, strong, independent and kind.

Do you have a theme song?

Carrie: "Let It Be" by the Beatles, but I absolutely love the version by Carol Woods from the film Across the Universe.

Danielle: it's a cross between Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah and The Commodore's Brick House << owww! >

Thanks so much, Carrie and Danielle!

For the chance to win a copy of Style Statement (and I'd recommend it because it really is gorgeous), just email us at editor @ trashionista . com (remove spaces) with your name and address and the words "Style Statement" in the subject line. Closing date is 30 April and it's UK contestants only, I'm afraid (it's really heavy!).

(Don't worry, this isn't today's competition, there'll be another one - open to all - along later.)

MORE ON MONDAY: When You Eat At the Refrigerator, Pull Up A Chair by Geneen Roth

I know, I know, I'm always reviewing non-diet books, but they're such a revelation to me after years of reading actual diet books (okay, WeightWatchers magazine). Geneen Roth's When You Eat at the Refrigerator, Pull Up a Chair is a classic, given credibility in my eyes by having a foreword by Anne Lamott (who I love).

When You Eat... consists of 50 very short chapters (some are only a couple of pages in length) with titles like "Carry a chunk of chocolate everywhere" and "Remind yourself that it's already broken." Weirdly, the word that came to mind when I was typing that was "Californian" so I checked the About the Author page and discovered that Roth does indeed live in Northern California - what was my point? Oh yes, if you're not comfortable with self-development, if, like Beth Lisick, it's way outside your comfort zone and you're smirking now, I'd say read the book anyway.

I found it reassuring, funny, inspiring and frequently more down to earth than the chapter headings (and that "Californian" business) would have you believe. The subtitle is "50 ways to feel thin, gorgeous, and happy (when you feel anything but)" and that's not to be sniffed (or smirked) at, surely?

I kept it on my bedside table and read one short chapter each day. Now that I've finished it, I've turned back to the beginning to read it again until I get the chance to read another of Roth's books.

Rating: 4/5

Like this? Try The 4-Day Win by Martha Beck

BOOK REVIEW: Helping Me Help Myself by Beth Lisick

I am a self-confessed self-help junkie, so I was really looking forward to reading Beth Lisick's second book, particularly since I'd heard great things about her first, Everybody into the Pool.

Unlike me, Beth is a self-help skeptic, but following the realisation that, at age 37, she was sleeping in a room with plastic sheeting covering a damp patch on the wall, doing a job for which she had to dress up as a banana, and too unfit to keep up with her four-year-old son, she decides self-help can't, well, hurt and so undertakes to examine (and hopefully improve) one area of her life each month for a year.

From Jack Canfield's book The Success Principles to a Richard Simmons weightloss cruise, via (Men are From Mars author) John Gray, The Artists' Way and a parenting book entitled 1-2-3 Magic!, Lisick repeatedly steps out (way out) of her comfort zone.

I approached Helping Me Help Myself expecting to find Lisick disagreeing with or mocking every self-help method she tries, but she really doesn't. She genuinely seems to approach them all (okay, almost all) with a totally open mind. She's charming, funny, enthusiastic and self-deprecating and (and I know I always say this) by the end I felt like we were friends. So much so that I kept thinking of books to recommend to her before remembering that I don't actually know her at all.

Plus it genuinely contains good self-help information while, at the same time, cheerfully (and without malice) exposing the money-making opportunities inherent in the self-help industry. I loved it.

Self-help addict or self-help skeptic, there's something here for everyone. Oh and it'll make you look at Richard Simmons in a totally different way...

Rating: 5/5

Like this? Try Give it Up! by Mary Carlomagno

BOOK NEWS: Helping Me Help Myself

Similar in scope to The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin, Beth Lisick's Helping Me Help Myself is about the year she spent following the advice of different self-help gurus.

It's just come out in hardback (Rubin might be a little gutted, as her book isn't out until 2009), and  Beth has made some promotional book trailers. Hop over here to see them.

Related posts: The Joy Diet | Career Helium

BOOK REVIEW: Career & Corporate Cool by Rachel C Weingarten

I wasn't sure that Rachel C Weingarten's Career and Corporate Cool would be much use to me. I work for myself so the "corporate" doesn't apply. The book is subtitled 'How to look, dress, and act the part - at every stage of your career' and since I work from home, often in my pyjamas, I didn't think Weingarten had anything to teach me in that area either. As is often the case ... I was wrong.

This book is packed with a lot of advice that you've probably already heard if you've ever read a women's magazine, but it feels somehow much more up to date. It includes questions on how to define your own personal style and then to use this in every area of your professional life.

Containing advice on everything from dress and make-up to behaviour inside and outside the office to the differences between masculine and feminine work styles and how to gracefully handle emergencies, Weingarten covers pretty much everything you'll ever need, no matter what your job. The abundance of post-its sticking out of my copy suggest it's just as useful if you work for yourself.

It's not at all stuffy or preachy, in fact it's entertaining, often funny and a very easy read.

Rating: 3/5

Like this? Try Career Helium by David Thompson

MORE ON MONDAY & COMPETITION: The Greatest Freelance Writing Tips in the World by Linda Jones

Full disclosure: Linda Jones has been one of my mentors as I changed career from administrator in corporate recovery and personal insolvency (hello? still awake?) to freelance journalist, so I knew in advance just how straight-talking, down to earth and exceedingly useful this book was going to be.

Linda's been a journalist for 20 years and has not only worked as a freelance, but also in newspapers, magazines, online media and PR, so these tips cover writing across the board and from both sides of the fence (I don't think there's a chapter about mixing metaphors, unfortunately).

Find out how you can win a copy over the cut.

This book covers everything you could need to know - from the business side of freelancing (invoicing, copyright and legal matters) to the fun stuff (interviewing, researching and actually writing).

Linda is generous with her advice, but at the same time she doesn't mollycoddle and that's what I liked the most about this book. Yes, it's encouraging and enlightening, but it's also realistic about your chances of making it as a freelancer, which, as I know from experience, will be vastly increased by learning from Linda.

Rating: 5/5

Like this? Try Career Helium by David Thompson

For your chance to win a copy of The Greatest Freelance Writing Tips in the World, please email us at editor @ trashionista . com (take out the spaces) with "Tips" in the subject line and your name and address in the body of the email (so we can send you the book!). Closing date 4 February 2008.

BOOK REVIEW: The Amazing Adventures of Dietgirl by Shauna Reid

I've only just started reading Shauna Reid's wonderful blog - The Amazing Adventures of Dietgirl - so I was keen to read the book version and catch up on everything I'd missed over the past seven years!

In 2001, after seeing a gigantic pair of her knickers on the washing line, Shauna decided it was time to go to WeightWatchers ... where she discovered to her horror that her weight had crept up to 25 stone. Knowing that she really needed to lose a significant amount of weight, Shauna came up with an online fat-busting alter-ego  ... Dietgirl!

For years, Shauna kept her identity a secret, while blogging about dieting, exercising, her struggle with depression and, eventually, travelling with her sister from Australian to Scotland, where her life was to change even more dramatically.

By the end of the book I felt like I knew Shauna and I was so proud of what she'd achieved, not just physically, but emotionally too. This book is a real journey and I didn't want it to end (although I'm glad it did, for Shauna's sake!).

Shauna writes honestly and movingly about her struggles, but she's also very funny. I think you'd enjoy this book even if you've never had any problem with your weight, but if you do have weight issues, I have no doubt you'll find it incredibly motivating and inspiring. I've been losing and regaining the same two stone for about fifteen years now, but Shauna has definitely changed the way I think about weightloss (for the better - just to be clear!).

I loved this book so much that I really can't recommend it highly enough.

Rating: 5/5

Like this? Try Pretty Fat by Jen Lancaster (when it comes out!)

BOOK NEWS: To Hell in High Heels

Helena Frith Powell has already tutored us to be more French in Two Lipsticks and a Lover. To Hell in High Heels is her guide to aging "gracefully, disgracefully, or not at all."

With no thought for her own sanity, health or bank balance, Helena fearlessly investigates the various anti-ageing tricks on the market.

I've got to admit, this book is probably not aimed at me. I dislike shopping, have no interest in shoes (and point-black refuse to wear heels), and consider brushing my hair as the height of personal grooming. It's a fair bet that I'm going to age in much the same laissez-faire way...

Related posts: How To Walk in High Heels review | The Goddess Guide review

MORE ON MONDAY: The Courage to Write by Ralph Keyes

Sub-titled, 'How Writers Transcend Fear', The Courage to Write is not a conventional writing handbook. It doesn't cover point-of-view, grammar, or matters of style. If you are after a nuts-and-bolts guide to plotting or character, you need to look elsewhere.

However, if (like me) you often feel overwhelmed by feelings of inadequacy, if your hands tremble with the sheer size and scope of the task ahead, if, in short, you want to write, but find yourself resisting the process with all your might, then this book is for you.

In fact, I'll go further. Although specific to writing, I think Keyes' book is helpful  for all creative types. The act of creating something - of putting your ideas, feelings, dreams into something outside of yourself, something tangible, something that can be seen by others, is an act of courage.

The real beauty of this book is that it uses lots of examples and quotes from established (and renowned) writers. The first time I read it, I discovered that every thought and feeling I had about my own writing had been experienced by someone else. And not just any old people, either; gifted, successful writers.

This is both encouraging and depressing. It's great to think that one is normal, but rather distressing  to discover that there is no magic cure.

Still, as I face the coming week of work, I am buoyed by the thought that although writing is a solitary business I am, by no means, alone.

Related posts: The Writing Diet | See Jane Write

BOOK REVIEW: Creating a Charmed Life by Victoria Moran

I love inspirational self-development books. I keep them by my bed and try to read a chapter in morning and another at night. I say I try, but I usually fail, which is why it's probably taken me a year to read Victoria Moran's Creating a Charmed Life.

That's not a comment on the book - I've read a couple of Moran's other books and found them to be charming, wise and entertaining, and this one, subtitled "Sensible, Spiritual Secrets Every Busy Woman Should Know", is no exception.

Moran defines a "Charmed Life" as one "in which serendipity is commonplace and things go right an extraordinary percentage of the time" and the book is filled with tips and advice on how this can be achieved. Both by practical methods like boosting your vitality, asking for what you want or keeping a journal, and in more spiritual and emotional ways: accepting things as they are and trusting your instincts.

I'm making it sound a bit wet, I know, but it's not at all. Moran illustrates each (very short) chapter with examples from her own life, which she has transformed, and which certainly sounds charmed. In fact, her authorial voice is so strong that I was shocked to find there's no photograph of her anywhere in this book - I can picture her so perfectly!

Creating a Charmed Life is a great quick introduction to various self-development concepts. If you're not sure what works for you, read this and see what resonates. There's even a Further Reading section in the back if you want to look more deeply into specific ideas.

But even if you just followed the advice contained in this small book, I'm confident you'd notice changes.

Rating: 4/5

Like this? Try Behind on the Laundry and Living off Chocolate by Lynette Allen

BOOK NEWS: The Writing Diet

One of my favourite self-help type books is Julia Cameron's The Artist's Way (although discussing it with a friend recently, we both admitted we'd never made it all the way to the end of the book; has anyone?). I've read some of Cameron's other books too and found them entertaining and inspiring.

Her latest is right up my street and perfect for the post-Christmas (post-Bailey's, post-Chocolate Orange) "New Year, New You" frenzy. The Writing Diet: Write Yourself Right-Size. Yes, you read that write. I mean, right.

The book has sprung from the fact that Cameron has noticed over the years that whenever her students tap into their creativity, they also lose weight. So in this book, "Cameron illuminates the relationship between creativity and eating to reveal a crucial equation: creativity can block overeating."

Despite sounding a bit woolly and, dare I say it, woo-woo - "count words instead of calories", "use journaling to examine [your] relationship with food", "substitute writing's 'food for thought' for actual food" (I'd probably write "cake" on a piece of paper and then eat that) - I know from experience that Julia Cameron is pretty much a genius, so I'm reserving judgment until I've read the book. And lost the weight. New Year, New Me!

Related posts: The Joy Diet by Martha Beck | Gulp! by Gabriella Goddard | No Plot? No Problem! by Chris Baty (no time to eat during NaNo!)

BOOK REVIEW: Froth on the Cappuccino by Maeve Haran

I love books like Maeve Haran's Froth on the Cappuccino. Subtitled "How small pleasures can save your life" it's one of those books about how all the joys of life are right there in front of us and how we so often take this for granted.

Things like the titular froth on the cappuccino ("Can there be anything more delicious than sprinkling fresh chocolate onto your cappucciino and eating the froth, slowly and sensuously, as befits its amazing wondrousness?"), freshly baked bread, a cool pillow, watching the dawn come up, painting your toenails and tons more.

Yes, it's basically just short thoughts on each topic, but I found it compulsive reading.

Granted, at times Haran's tone can be a bit twee and I found myself thinking "Yeah, yeah, baking with children is delightful, blah blah," but that's probably partly due to my own cynicism and partly because I read the book in great chunks rather than dipping in and out of it. Oh and the chapter on "Scrunchy hair ties" seemed a bit out of date. "So this humble yet irreplaceable device is destined for a long and happy future" - tell that to Carrie Bradshaw!

But they're very small complaints. As a book to keep by the bed (or the loo) and dip in and out of, it would be both charming and inspiring. It would also make a good Christmas gift for someone who's finding life a bit joyless.

Rating: 4/5

Like this? Try The Joy Diet by Martha Beck

MORE ON MONDAY: The 4-Day Win by Martha Beck

Martha Beck is one of my heroes. I devour her books. I re-read them frequently. I keep them on a shelf above my desk for inspiration. I love her. So imagine my excitement when I read that her latest book would be a (sort of) diet book. Since I've been trying and failing to lose weight for approximately two thirds of my life, I couldn't read it quick enough.

The 4-Day Win is subtitled "change the way you think about food and your body in just 4 days" which is actually a little disingenuous. The plan features a series of 4 day wins - 4 days being the optimal time it takes to change your behaviour and implement new habits that stick. There is a jump start programme on which, Beck assures, you will start to lose weight almost immediately. But this book doesn't feature eating plans and exercise suggestions, it's more about learning to change the way you think about food.

Yes, I know there have been a bunch of non-diet diet books lately and yet the world's population is still getting fatter, but Beck explains clearly and concisely why this is the case. Why even though losing weight may seem to be the most important thing in your life, you still can't do it.

Based on sociological and psychological research, It all makes perfect sense, it's readable, fascinating and, because it's Martha Beck, hugely entertaining. Has a diet book ever made you laugh out loud before? No, me neither. (My favourite line: "Tracy and I agreed that she would try a two-pronged approach to changing her body and mind. So we got her a fork with only two prongs...")

No, I haven't actually lost any weight, but that's because I haven't started doing any 4 day wins yet (I'm still in what Beck calls the "pre-contemplation" stage - in other words, I just read the book, I didn't actually do any of the - theoretical, not physical - exercises).

In Beck's book The Joy Diet, she said she'd never write an actual diet book. And yet now she has. And I for one am thrilled about it.

Rating: 5/5

Like this? Try Beyond Chocolate by Audrey & Sophie Boss

MORE ON MONDAY: Career Helium by David Thompson

I’ve got a self-development book for you this week (surprise, surprise!), but one with a difference. Where most books of this type are a list of things to do and achieve, Career Helium by David Thompson is told in story form. It’s the story of Matt, an employee unfairly, in his opinion, passed over for promotion in favour of Tim. Matt has better sales figures, and has been at the company longer so why didn’t he get the promotion? What has Tim got that he hasn’t? Enter the mysterious Edward and Career Helium…

The author, David Thompson, has been the teambuilding expert on Big Brother’s Little Brother, and has been working in career development for over 15 years. By using the unusual format of a fictional tale in a career development book he brings you his vast knowledge in an easily digestible form. The story neatly applies the stages of Career Helium to Matt’s real life situation, and throughout the book key phrases and teachings are given space of their own, so you know exactly what you should be focused on.

I don’t want to give the secret of Career Helium away, but every piece of advice makes perfect sense, and makes you wonder *why aren’t I doing that?* If you’re after promotion and career advancement, but know you’re missing something, you might just find it in Career Helium.

Rating: 4/5

Like this? Try P.U.S.H. for success by Saira Khan

BOOK NEWS: A Girl for All Seasons

Good news for ‘How to walk in High Heels’ fans (of which I’m one) - Camilla Morton has a new book due out in September, this one called ‘A Girl for all Seasons’ and it promises lots more advice for ladies who need it. Taking you through the months, Ms. Morton will inspire you to lead a more glamorous lifestyle with inspirational messages and advice from the top names in fashion.

Self development books are a favourite read of the Trashionista girls – anything that helps our attempts to lead a glamorous life has got to be worth reading. And let’s face it, all we do is read books and then write about them so we need all the help we can get!

Related Posts:  Things I Wish my Mother had Told me About by Lucia van der Post  |  Mama Gena's School of Womanly Arts by Regina Thomashauer

BOOK NEWS: Things I Wish my Mother had Told me About by Lucia van der Post

I’ve always wanted to write to Lucia van der Post at the Times to solve my fashion dilemmas but sadly I’ve got so many I can never decide which one to ask her about. Luckily for me her book ‘Things I Wish my Mother had Told Me’ is out in November. It’s a complete guide to what to wear and when to wear it, along with advice on relationships, entertaining and lessons on grace and elegance. I adore books like this and I’m sure this one from Lucia van der Post will have me looking amazing by Christmas.

Related Posts: How to Walk in High Heels by Camilla Morton
| Mama Gena's School of Womanly Arts by Regina Thomashauer | The Joy Diet by Martha Beck

MORE ON MONDAY: Mama Gena's School of Womanly Arts by Regina Thomashauer

Mama Gena's School of Womanly Arts is subtitled Using the Power of Pleasure to Have Your Way With the World. It was recommended to me, otherwise it's probably not a book I would have picked up, since it sounds like a sex manual ... but it's not. No, really, it's not.

Instead it's actually a very well-rounded guide to having more fun and pleasure in all areas of your life (and, yes, while that does include your sex life, the book's got much more to offer). With chapters on flirting, beauty and bitchiness - plus one on "owning and operating men" - Mama Gena's School of Womanly Arts is strangely old-fashioned while, at the same time, being distinctly modern.

Mama Gena uses examples from her own life and from those of the "Sister Goddesses" who have taken her course to illustrate how focussing on your own pleasure can bring you everything you want. Plus there are exercises at the end of each chapter that range from examining your lady parts (!) to keeping a scrapbook of all the fabulous things you'd like in your life.

Mae West is quoted more than once and it's that kind of witty yet sensual idea of womanhood that the book espouses. It works for me, but I appreciate that it might offend some women, while others might find it a bit old hat (Mae West's been dead for almost 30 years, after all)!

I enjoyed this book. There exercises are great both for adding pleasure to your life and learning more about yourself ... so that you can add more pleasure to your life. And I'm certainly not going to complain about that.

Rating: 4/5

Like this? Try The Goddess Guide by Gisele Scanlon

BOOK REVIEW: Behind Every Great Woman There's a Fabulous Gay Man by Dave Singleton

Is it just me? Does everyone in the world have a fabulous GBF (Gay Best Friend) except me... And if so, where can I get one?

Dave Singleton argues that every woman needs a GBF - that's why his book is called Behind Every Great Woman There's a Fabulous Gay Man. But luckily for those of us who don't have our very own Stanford Blatch, Dave is happy to advise us on how to "avoid the pitfalls of the dating game, live stylishly and be even more fabulous than you already are." Which is nice.

The book is essentially a love and style guide for women from a gay man's perspective, divided into two parts: Dating, Men and Relationships and Style, Straight Talk and Self-Esteem.

Dave begins by talking about the importance of a male gay best friend for every straight woman, and about how wonderful his female friends are. Which is lovely for them, but doesn't help those of us without a GBF, now does it?!

There are some really interesting ideas in the first part of the book, such as looking at the part you play in your unsuccessful relationships - finding out where your love insecurities come from, and breaking self-destructive patterns. There are also useful and more light-hearted tips on checking if a man 'plays for your team' or not... The second part of the book is about appearance, plastic surgery and the like and is more superficial - although Singleton advises thinking about whether you're having a procedure done for your looks or your self-esteem, which is certainly good advice.

But a lot of the advice in the book seemed to be stretched a bit thin - I felt it was a bit repetitive and could probably have been squashed into a long feature article as I'm not sure there was enough here to build a book on. Some of the chapters in the second half of the book in particular just seemed there to make up the numbers, and didn't provide much useful insight - why it's okay to wear a short skirt to work, for instance. (Do we need to be told? And I'm still not gonna...) Plus, I couldn't help feeling that perhaps the idea for the book was a bit outdated - I mean, SATC is over and GBFs aren't exactly news. This book was only published in the UK this year, but in the US in 2005, which explains a lot.

It's witty, if not particularly original, and does contain some useful ideas, but may be one to skim rather than use as your style and dating 'bible'.

Rating: 3/5

Like this? Try Jane Austen's Guide to Dating by Lauren Henderson.

BOOK REVIEW: Men! by Isabel Losada

Isabel Losada has written non-fiction books on the inner lives of nuns, finding enlightenment and saving the world. (As well as Reasons to be Glad). Her latest release is a little more down-to-earth: ‘Men!’ she exclaims. ‘Where the **** are they?’

She believes there is a national shortage of interesting, available men over the age of 35. For the purposes of the book, her definition of an interesting man is: ‘One who when you meet them you’d like to have dinner with them and, having had dinner with them you are glad that you had dinner with them and would like to see them again.’ Available means emotionally available as well as single (and married men who tell women they’re separated don’t count!) The interesting, available man should also have travelled, be independent and free from addictions and other emotional problems. Is such a man so elusive? The evidence of her own love life and those of her friends suggests he is, so Losada embarks on a nine-month quest to find out where all the interesting and available men are, and to net one for herself in the process, if she can...

To find out where the eligible men are hiding, Losada visits some all-male environments on our behalf. She attends a Harley Davidson ‘ride out’ and a weekend plumbing course before spending two weeks working as the only woman on a building site. Dispiritingly, she finds that men are often quite literally hiding from women as they prefer to spend leisure time in the company of other men. The motorbike club is mostly a chance for men to drink copiously and tell sexist and homophobic jokes. The plumbing course is not set up for women although Losada copes admirably well and the building site workers treat her as one of them (after some initiation rituals) but their views on life and love are enlightening in all the wrong ways.

So Losada vows to try more new things. She attends lectures all over London, learns to drive a motorbike and goes on a diving holiday in Egypt. She also falls for two men, neither of whom is technically ‘available’…  She’s endearingly open and frank about her romantic missteps, admitting that getting over one of these men is so hard that she wouldn’t be interested in a new relationship anyway – so her experiment is flawed on a personal level. At the end of the quest, Losada confirms her hypothesis: as she suspected, there is a lack of interesting, available men for independent, intelligent women over 35. Our author claims she was hoping to be proved wrong but the words ‘self-fulfilling prophecy’ don’t seem out of place here - throughout the book it’s more apparent that she wants to prove herself right.

However she does have suggestions for changing the situation she says she has uncovered. First, women seeking men should take a new approach: ‘Doing radical and exciting things with our lives is one solution’, and something that is never a bad idea! Losada also encourages us to look at the bigger picture, postulating that the reason so many marriages are unhappy is that people lack the courage to be honest with each other and to leave without fear of recrimination when a relationship is no longer working. If more people were honest when a relationship stops working, this would mean more available men let loose.

The author claims she’s not scared to be a single woman forever if she can’t find Mr Right. But her vision of ageing single women, though (I hope) tongue in cheek, is offensive and lazy: ‘I have so many wonderful female friends… we could all move into a house together that would become a glorious celebration of being old batty females. We’d all have to wear purple. And have lots of cats… pretend to be witches and have big bonfires and make strange sounds to frighten the local schoolchildren.’ If that’s what happens to single women of a certain age it’s no wonder Losada wants a man!

At times I couldn’t help having the un-sisterly thought that perhaps her standards are too high. If a man has different views to her, she’s not interested. If he enjoys spectator sports, she’s not interested. And yet she falls for two unavailable men in the space of nine months. Wouldn’t a football fan have been better?

Also, although she talks repeatedly about not needing a man she frequently presents being alone as the third-rate option. During her research mission, Losada goes on her first dive and absolutely loves it. She comments that it’s a shame she’s on her own as it would be ideal to share the experience with a partner or friend. Is an experience only worth having if you’re with someone else?

Although intelligently-written and well-considered with a spiritual angle not often found in books about love, ‘Men!’ isn’t as new and subversive as it wants to be. It is after all another book about how women can find men (isn’t it time they found us for a change?!) While part of me found it sad that a vibrant, intelligent and (not that it should matter, but it probably does) attractive woman like Isabel Losada finds it so hard to find a lasting relationship, a larger part of me thought, ‘So?’

Still, I found the author charming and frank and her look at love has more depth than other books of its ilk.

Rating: 4/5

Like this? Try Dating Amy by Amy DeZellar.

Read this review in full at The F Word.

MORE ON MONDAY: Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel

I was a bit wary about reading Mating in Captivity. For a start, it's called Mating in Captivity. And its subtitle is Sex, Lies and Domestic Bliss (that's in the UK; the US subtitle was Reconciling the Erotic and the Domestic). But it's actually a surprisingly readable and insightful look at sex in long-term relationships.

The author, Esther Perel's contention is that we need to look at sex in long-term relationships in a different way. She suggests that everything we've come to prize in relationships - equality, tenderness, honesty - is at odds with what we look for in sex (i.e. passion, eroticism and, you know, muckiness).

The quote on the back from the Sunday Times says, "Enormous fun," which I thought was a bit odd for a book on this subject, but it is very enjoyable and an easy read. Using case studies and anecdotal evidence, Perel looks at a number of different relationships and scenarios and her arguments are entirely convincing.

Whether out of nosiness or just because they were the more entertaining bits, I enjoyed the case studies more than Perel's analysis, but the entire book is entertaining and informative.

Much like John Gray's Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus, Mating in Captivity could change the way couples look at each other and relationships. Recommended.

Rating: 4/5

Like this? Try Women Who Think Too Much by Dr Susan Nolen Hoeksema

BOOK NEWS: I Was a Really Good Mom Before I Had Kids

I don't know what would tempt me to read this memoir/advice book more: the refreshingly honest and funny title...

...or the gorgeously yummy-looking front cover. (Go see).

And I don't even have kids!

Watch a video from the authors if you'd like to know more.

Related posts: The Hot Moms Handbook | Confessions of a Failed Grown-up by Stephanie Calman

BOOK REVIEW: Give It Up! by Mary Carlomagno

I first heard of Mary Carlomagno's book when the lovely Keris told me about her plans to emulate the concept of Give It Up! Which is: to give up one thing you love, per month, for a year.

It's an interesting prospect although (as with so many things) I decided I'd rather read about it than actually try it myself, so that's what I did.

Mary has an epiphany when she's looking  for something in her wardrobe one day, and is hit on the head by a barrage of shoe boxes. Her life is getting out of control: she's spending too much, accumulating too much, going on drunken nights out too much. So why not try a month without alcohol, then one without shopping, then one without elevators, newspapers... and so on.

I enjoyed reading about Mary's challenge and the things she learned but was disappointed this book didn't dig a little deeper: unlike Not Buying It , the author doesn't question or really look into the consumerist values of western society. And it didn't tell me enough about Mary's feelings and insights to qualify as a memoir, either.

Give It Up! is really more of a guide to streamlining your life than anything else, with suggestions on how and why to give things up. (Which is appropriate as that's now Mary's job - she's founded a company to help people streamline their lives, based on her own experience).

Rating: 3 out of 5

Like this? Try Not Buying It by Judith Levine or The Secret Dreamworld of a Shopaholic by Sophie Kinsella.

MORE ON MONDAY: Not Buying It by Judith Levine

Could you go a whole year without buying anything? No clothes, no books (argh!), no cinema tickets or meals out?

What would you do if you weren't part of the consumer economy and only bought the barest of essentials?

And how would other people react?

To answer all those questions and more, Judith Levine (along with her partner, Paul) took on a mammoth challenge: a year of Not Buying It.

Told in chronological order, I found it really interesting reading about Judith's fluctuating attitude to the project, her occasion slips and loopholes and the conclusions she and Paul drew by the end of the year. I find it hard to go a week without buying a book, so I particularly applaud her efforts in that respect, especially when she was trying to navigate the impoverished New York library system. Also interesting was the different issues the experiment brought up in the two areas of the country the author lives: Vermont and New York.

This book was more wide-ranging than I expected: I thought it would be a personal journey, but it looks at issues of world economics, environmental concerns and social responsibility and in this sense is enlightening, if a bit depressing at times! It's a very thought-provoking read, and I can't imagine that anyone who reads it will ever forget some of the lessons of the book.  There really is something for every consumer here...

Rating: 4 out of 5

Like this? Try Sweet and Low by Rich Cohen, or my co-ed Keris's Dollymix column Giving Up...

More on Monday archives.

BOOK REVIEW: Women Who Think Too Much by Susan Nolen-Hoeksema

A while ago I asked my husband how he copes with the constant chatter in his head. He looked at me blankly. I gave him some examples of the arguing I do with myself, going round and round on the same topic and ended saying, “You know?” He didn’t know. He had no idea what I was talking about. It was only then that I realised it might not be normal, that perhaps it wasn’t something everyone does. And that’s when I discovered Dr Susan Nolen-Hoeksema’s Women Who Think Too Much.

Subtitled, "How to break free of over-thinking and reclaim your life", Women Who Think Too Much explains, with examples, exactly what overthinking is, why we do it (and it’s much more likely to be women than men who do) and how we can stop it. Chapters then focus on some specific circumstances that are likely to cause us to overthink - marriage, parenting, work, family, weight - using real life case studies.

This book was an absolute revelation to me. I suspected I wasn’t alone in overthinking, but seeing people’s spiralling thought processes written down was so comforting - I’m not barmy after all! I realise now that, though common, overthinking is not normal, healthy or useful and I’m taking steps to stop it (and it hasn’t even been that hard).

Rating: 4 out of 5

Like this? Try Behind on the Laundry and Living off Chocolate by Lynette Allen

Reading The Apprentice

We're pretty obsessed with The Apprentice here at Trashionista. Diane's reviewing it for our sister site, TV Scoop, and I'm dreaming about the contestants *shudder*. Of course, the applicants on The Apprentice are (apparently) hip young go-getters, so the first thing they are likely to do, whether or not they win the coveted position in Sir Alan's firm, is to write a book, isn't it.

Just out is Series Two winner, Michelle Dewberry's Anything Is Possible. Feebly subtitled "From the checkout to The Apprentice and beyond" (because Michelle has already left Sir Alan's employ), it's described as an "inspirational autobiography ... revealing how Michelle triumphed over a violent and abusive childhood to excel in the cut-throat world of business - and defeat 15,000 hopefuls to win BBC TV's The Apprentice". 

Arguably the star (though not the winner) of the first series was Saira Khan, whose book P.U.S.H. for Success is a motivational guide featuring "brilliant ballsy strategies" to help you achieve anything you want using Saira's unique (I bet) P.U.S.H. approach: P = Be Proactive; U = Understanding; S = Sell Yourself; H = High Standards.

Of course, there's also the obligatory official guide and you'll no doubt be happy to know that the inimitable Ruth Badger has her own book coming out later this year. What, no Syed?

The American contestants are at it too, of course. Season One winner, Bill Rancic has written two - his latest being Beyond the Lemonade Stand.

Rather fabulously, Season Three's Tana Goertz has written her own life story as a children's picture book. Called I'm Bigger Than This, it's "an inspirational tale that teaches kids how to think BIG! and let nothing get in the way of their dreams".

Season Two's Wes Moss features 21 entrepreneurs in Starting From Scratch and Season Three winner Kendra Todd encourages you to Risk & Grow Rich. And of course The Donald has got plenty to say...

Television archives | Self development archives

BOOK REVIEW: On Becoming Fearless by Arianna Huffington

Arianna Huffington is the creator of the hugely successful online news and opinion blog, Huffington Post. She claims to have been inspired to write this book by her two daughters, to encourage them to lead fearless lives.

Each chapter focusses on being fearless in a different area of your life, such as parenting, love, money, work, health, even changing the world.

Huffington has a very friendly and accessible writing style and illuminates the text with many stories from her own fearless life. Further insight is given between the chapters by a number of famous women including Nora Ephron and Diane Keaton.

Apart from Huffington's own experience, there isn't much here that you probably haven't already read in various women's magazines, but it's inspiring to read it all in the one place and as written by a woman who has experienced everything she is writing about. I surprised myself by finding the chapter about her political career the most interesting - despite knowing how women are treated in politics, it's still shocking and disturbing to read it first hand.

Interesting and inspiring.

Rating: 4 out of 5

Like this? Try I Feel Bad About My Neck by Nora Ephron or Think Pink by Lisa Clark

BOOK REVIEW: How to Walk in High Heels by Camilla Morton

Subtitled 'The Girl's Guide to Everything' and with a forward by John Galliano, this pink tome was seemingly designed for the Sex in the City crowd, cosmo-drinkers in search of the fashionable way to live life and get it right. And it is, to a certain extent.

Like any good fashionista, Morton name drops like it's going out of style. But like the best sort of fashionista, she doesn't do the name-dropping herself. Sections written by the likes of Kylie Minogue (How to enhance your finer assets), Vivienne Westwood (How to appreciate art and where to start), Gisele (How to look good in a photo), and Christopher Bailey (How to be inspired - gorgeous places to go to) tell you all you need to know about just how chic Morton is. And if advice from her nearest and dearest won't help you attain uber-fabulousness, then there's just no hope for you, dahling.

Or is there?

While the book is undoubtedly an amusing read, it's definitely more loo book than style bible. It's divided into sections which I called 'vaguely useful' and 'duh' in my head - can you guess which fell into which category?

* Greeting Your Public (grooming, walking in high heels, applying makeup, and hat-wearing)

* Being Socially Adept (manners, cooking, art, culture)

* Tackling Your Technophobia (gadgets, gizmos, the workplace)

* Homes and Gardens (house-buying, home economics, gardening, home maintenance)

* Joining the Jet Set (travel, driving)

I won't claim to be the best-groomed, most stylish woman out there. I'm usually quite scruffy, and I hate filing my nails. But there was nothing in the beauty section of the book that you won't have learned from friends, relatives, or [insert style bible of choice]. The more practical advice about home ownership and associated life skills will also have been passed on to you by people you know, and while it may not have been so wittily prettily presented, it's the same advice. Get a mortgage, talk to your bank, buy what you can afford, don't put offers down on 36 places at once. Gee, thanks. I never would've figured that one out for myself. And mummy and the bank manager telling me the same thing never sunk in. But now that someone in the fashion world put it in a pink book, it all makes sense. Hurrah!

But I'm making the book sound more awful than it is. It doesn't take itself remotely seriously, and that's its saving grace. This is light-hearted fluff with a few nuggets of gold (Gisele's photo advice being one), and as long as you don't pick it up expecting anything more, you won't be disappointed. Loo book, no question.

Rating: 2 out of 5

Like this? Try The Goddess Guide by Gisele Scanlon

BOOK REVIEW: Think Pink by Lisa Clark

How I wish I’d had Lisa Clark’s Think Pink when I was 14.

Subtitled ‘the ultimate “go-for-it” guide for girls!’ Think Pink takes us on ‘a kick-ass road-trip to self discovery’ accompanied by 14-year-old Lola Love and her friends.

It includes advice, anecdotes and quizzes on subjects from increasing your self-esteem to making (and keeping) friends, avoiding toxic boys and making future plans, and is not only entertaining and useful, but looks gorgeous too - Holly Lloyd’s illustrations complementing the text perfectly.

The first in a much-needed series (have you looked at the teen non-fiction shelves lately? There’s nothing there!) Think Pink will show you how to ‘fill your life with sunshine-filled, candy-kissed moments.’ And who wouldn’t want that?

And it’s not just for teens, I found it entertaining and inspiring and I’m *cough* in my thirties.

Rating: 5 out of 5

Like this? Try Being a Girl by Kim Cattrall

AUTHOR INTERVIEW: Lisa Clark

Lisa Clark is the author of non-fiction teen book, Think Pink (review coming Friday). You can read all about Lisa, Lola Love, and the other stops on Lisa's Think Pink blog tour on her website. Catch her tomorrow here.

Please describe your latest book in 15 words or fewer:

Think Pink is the ultimate go-for-it guide for girls! Did it in 11  - get me!

Where do you like to write your books (in bed, a coffee shop, an office)?

I'd love to be one of those super-cool author types who sit in a coffee shop with their macs or like SJP in Sex and The City who 'couldn't help but wonder' while she tapped away in a cute vest and knicker combo, but instead, I generally sit at the dining room table in my tea-stained PJs!

Your favourite chick-lit book?

Just one? Geez...The Truth About Ruby Valentine by Alison Bond is awesome - in fact, so was her first book How to be Famous...oh, I can't choose - they're both a salacious insight into the movie industry and I love 'em!

Your favourite female heroine (if different from above!), and why?

Besides Lola Love - leading lady of Think Pink who I love, not because I created her but just because I think she's too-cool-for-school, I love Viva in Emma Forrest's 'Namedropper' - she's what I wish being a
16 year-old me was actually like!

What tips would you give to any of our readers who want to become writers?

Persistance and perserverence, a good idea and the ability to toot your own horn, because nobody is going to know more about your book than you, so don't be afraid to big it up to anyone that will listen!

What are you reading at the moment?

Because I'm a multi-taskin' kind of girl I've got a few on the go right now - Cupcake by Rachel Cohn, Fearless by Adrienne Huffington* and the latest editions of Grazia, Bust and O magazine - I love me
some Oprah!

* Review coming soon - Keris

What are you working on now? (If you can give us a hint!)

As well as being a newbie author type, I'm a journo-girl too so I'm constantly pitchin' and writing features for teen titles here and in the US, book wise though, I've just finished editing Beauty*licious,
the second in the Think Pink series, out June 07, I'm working on books 3 and 4 right now and I'm developing some fiction ideas for Lola and the Pink Ladies too!

What question have you never been asked, but wish you had (you can answer it too if you like)?

Q. Lisa, would you like this super-swanky apartment in New York City, a Marc Jacobs account card and a breakfast of pancakes and syrup?

A. Why, Trashionista, yes I would!

Thanks, Lisa! (Sorry we can't help with the above ...)

BOOK REVIEW: The Girls' Guide to Losing Your L-Plates by Maria McCarthy

It’s coming up to the one year anniversary of passing my driving test, both at the third attempt and a full 17 years after I first got my provisional licence. I really could have done with Maria McCarthy’s The Girls’ Guide to Losing Your L-Plates.

Subtitled simply, How to Pass Your Driving Test, this is a fun, practical and informative guide and would be just as useful to men as women; yes, there are some aspects geared particularly to the female driver - things like crying in front of your instructor (although I imagine men do that too) and a section called “Personal safety for girls on the go,” but it’s mainly full of useful information like how to find the perfect instructor (and which to avoid), how best to approach both your theory and practical tests, how to recover if you fail and even how to go about getting insurance once you’ve passed your test.

Written in a lighthearted and accessible style, The Girls’ Guide to Losing Your L Plates is such an excellent resource I can’t believe no-one’s thought of it before.

Rating: 5 out of 5

Read an extract on Maria's website

BOOK NEWS: Isabel Losada's 'Men!'

Non-fiction author Isabel Losada, who normally concerns herself with global issues, self improvement and reasons to be glad has a new, more romantically-themed book due for release here at the end of April.

Called 'Men!' her working subtitle was 'Where the **** are they?!' but she's now settled on 'Forget the fiction! Where are the interesting and available men?' (Answers on a postcard, please...)

On her blog she discusses the vexed issue of covers, and why she picked red rather than white (less self help-looking, apparently).

MORE ON MONDAY: The Joy Diet by Martha Beck

Martha Beck is not just a life coach, she's "Oprah Winfrey's life coach", and if you need a better recommendation than that, there's probably no helping you!

The Joy Diet isn't a weightloss diet. Martha explains in the introduction that she's using the original meaning of the word diet, "a way of living or thinking," and the book's subtitle is "10 daily practices for a happier life".  The thing I love about Martha Beck is though she's that very new agey thing - a life coach - she's profoundly practical.  She's also extremely funny. 

The ten practices (or "ingredients") of The Joy Diet are "nothing" (i.e. meditation), "truth" - telling the truth about your life and situation (you should also, as Martha puts it, "offer compassion to your inner lying scumbag"), "desire", "creativity", "risk", "treats" (my favourite), "play", "laughter", "connection" and "feasting".  See, Martha is all about being good to yourself and listening to your body (and soul) to work out what's wrong with your life and how you can make it right. 

It is impossible to read anything written by Martha Beck without feeling inspired.  She recommends that you work through the practices in order, making sure each one feels like second nature before moving on to the next.  I've had the book for years and I've never managed it (she flummoxed me by putting "nothing" - which she admits is the hardest one - first) but I will often pick the book up and read whichever chapter feels most meaningful to me at the time. 

I know I sound like an infomercial or something, but I really am evangelical about Ms Beck.  I first discovered her when I read an article she'd written on "seizing the day" in an American magazine.  It's absolutely not too strong to say it changed my life.  Her book, Finding Your Own North Star, is brilliant if you're still looking for your "right life", but if you are doing what you love and yet still feel a bit "bleh" then you need The Joy Diet.  (Even if you're not doing what you love, I'd still recommend The Joy Diet, but I'd suggest you run to a bookshop - or click like you've never clicked before - and buy Finding Your Own North Star first). 

Rating 5 out of 5

Like this? Try Gulp! by Gabriella Goddard

More on Monday archives

BOOK REVIEW: Behind with the Laundry and Living off Chocolate by Lynette Allen

Behind with the Laundry and Living off Chocolate? It's like Lynette Allen's taken my life and put it in a book! Luckily she's not writing about my unmentionables on the radiators and how I had four Fox's Classics for breakfast, but rather 'Life changing strategies for busy women'. Sounds too good to be true. Is it?

No, it's fab.

Obviously, laundry and chocolate issues are unlikely to fill a book (well, laundry issues anyway) and Behind with the Laundry and Living off Chocolate basically consists of short chapters of tips, advice, inspiration for all aspects of a busy life. You can start at the beginning and read everything, you can close your eyes and pick a chapter, or you can just read the chapters relevant to your situation.

Chapters include "Green Cross Code for women - stop, listen and act!" (decision-making tips), "Calm your environment, calm your mind!" (this one is actually about dealing with your laundry pile!) and "Are you sitting just a little too comfortably?" (inspiration if you're bored with life and afraid to try new things).

Obviously with such short chapters, you're not going to get in-depth advice, but there is definitely great common-sense information and inspiration to be had - and who has time to read in-depth advice anyway? Plus the book comes with a CD of tips (read by BBC Radio 2's Janey Lee Grace) which is a great idea - you can listen in the car or even while you finally tackle that laundry!

Behind with the Laundry and Living off Chocolate (you can tell I love saying that, can't you) is an excellent book and one I'll definitely be dipping into again.

Rating: 4 out of 5

Like this? Try Gulp! by Gabriella Goddard or Behind with the Mortgage and Living off Plastic by Lynette Allen

BOOK REVIEW: Gulp! by Gabriella Goddard

A little while ago we hosted author Gabriella Goddard on her virtual book tour to promote Gulp! Gulp! is a "seven day crash course to master fear and break through any challenge", something I sure most of us would love to be able to do.

Before I do anything else though, let me remind you of our Gulp! competition. We've got two copies of Gulp! to give away and to win one all you have to do is email us at editor@trashionista.com and tell us about the challenge you would take on with the help of Gulp! Our favourites - or those we think most need Gabriella's help - will win a copy.

Carry on over the cut to see what I thought of Gulp!

The seven day course which Gabriella outlined in her own post is explained, summarised and recapped - so even complicated issues (and there are some) are easy to understand. Each chapter ends with a practice - questions for you to complete so that you can see how the ideas apply to your situation. This is followed by an Action Plan which includes my favourite thing about Gulp! - there are different actions depending on "the size of your Gulp! and how nervous the situation makes you feel": Espresso, Mediano and Grande. This is great for someone impatient like me. I can start with Espresso and work my way up to Grande.

I've read a lot of self-help books and the problem is that it all makes perfect sense and seems inspiring when you read it, but then you stop reading, go back to life and forget all about it .. until you find yourself buying another self-help book. What I'm saying is, it's hard to say if Gulp! works, but it's certainly interesting and thought-provoking - I have marked an awful lot of pages to return to - and if you follow Gabriella's advice, I'm confident you'll be able to crack any challenge.